


Ethereal Gift

by Lalaith_Quetzalli



Series: Nightingale [22]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Smallville, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Arthurian legend - Freeform, Creation Myth, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, F/M, Families of Choice, Friendship, Magic, Mention of past war and death, Mythology - Freeform, Origin Story, Past Lives, References to Sherlock (TV), References to Smallville (TV), Reincarnation, Soul Bond, Soulmates, True Love, mixed mythology, past tragedies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-21 21:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 41,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9568463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lalaith_Quetzalli/pseuds/Lalaith_Quetzalli
Summary: Companion to Fate & Destiny and Bouquet of RosesGifts, especially those immaterial, can be tricky. Seen by some as curses, and by others as blessings; they're none of that. In the end a Gift is nothing more, nothing less than what its bearer makes of it. It can be a terrible burden, and the most incredible of rewards. It can dwell in darkness or shine brightly in the light.





	1. The Curse of the Crown

**Author's Note:**

> And here we are! I don't own anything of the MCU or any of the other fandoms I might 'borrow' to create the insanity that has become the Nightingale-verse (not like I regret it or anything, just so we're clear). I'm not doing this for profit, other than your kudos and comments, which, of course, are always welcome. 
> 
> This is the fourth and final part of this, the third phase of the Nightingale series. It consists of three chapters, the first two written in first person, each by a different character, while the last one is in third person. 
> 
> I'm taking a lot of liberties here, not just by giving some characters more of a backstory that they thus far have in the MCU, but also in the creation of the 'mythos' serving as background to this series. I know it might be hard to keep up with everything I'm mixing up, but I do hope you'll give it (and me) a chance, I promise this is as crazy as things are bound to get (if you can deal with this you can deal with anything I throw at you, honest!). 
> 
> From the very moment I learned about Doctor Strange I knew I wanted him to be in this series, I also had an idea of just how I wanted him in, but had to wait to watch the movie before I was actually sure if it could be done (I could have rewritten his story, of course, but I liked the movie a lot, and in the end it did fit my ideas, so...). 
> 
> You'll see a number of new Original Characters here, most are secondary, but one is particularly important (not a main character exactly, but still). I also think I must remind you that, whatever might be shown in the future in the MCU, my version of Hela Lokidottir will probably be nothing like that; and not only because mine is played by Katie McGrath... 
> 
> On the topic of my dreamcast. Since some people seem to actually like knowing who I picture as certain characters, these are the new ones: Donna Strange (I borrowed her from the comics, actually) is played by Ashley Greene (some might remember her for playing Alice Cullen in the Twilight Saga, just picture her with her original long hair rather than Alice's pixie cut); Sachiko Nishimura is played by Sophie Oda, Master Turner by Daniel Day-Lewis, Tamara Walker by Jane Seymour and Maureen Pangborn by Eva Mendes.

Ethereal Gift 

(Companion to _Fate and Destiny_ and _Bouquet of Roses_ )

_By: Lalaith Quetzalli_

_Gifts, especially those immaterial, can be tricky. Seen by some as curses, and by others as blessings; they're none of that. In the end a Gift is nothing more, nothing less than what its bearer makes of it. It can be a terrible burden, and the most incredible of rewards. It can dwell in darkness or shine brightly in the light._

**The Curse of the Crown (Stephen)**

Magic always comes with a price, sometimes higher than others...

I was born Stephen Vincent Strange in July of 1977, to Beverly and Eugene Strange, grew up in a small family farm close to Norfolk, Nebraska.

From a young age I was a genius, and I knew it. I discovered my eidetic memory when I was still in elementary school. I didn't know what it was at first, or that there was even a name for it. All I knew was that whatever the professor was teaching I learned perfectly the first time they said it, which meant that I spent the rest of the class (and sometimes even more than that) extremely bored as they kept repeating the same thing over and over again. And reviews the days before exams were even worse!

I had some trouble at school, when boredom pushed me into doing some... less than stellar things, and I know I put my parents through a great deal of grief because of that. Eventually it was my mother who found a way to deal with me. She began buying me puzzles, workbooks full of riddles and anything else she could find. That kept me entertained for the most part. Especially because mom would always smile at me, so full of love and pride, whenever I finished one of those books. Especially when she began buying me the kind that were supposed to be for older kids and adults. I loved making her smile!

And then she became sick. Cancer, the doctors didn't catch it on time. She died a week after I graduated from High-School, when I was sixteen. Her loss hit me hard and I lost myself for a while. College was boring, I kept changing my mind on what I wanted my major to be. My dad tried to buy me puzzles, but it simply wasn't the same, he'd never understood me, not like mom did and... and I think a part of me believed he should have realized mom was sick earlier. It got the point where I convinced myself I'd have seen it...

I was seventeen when I went into pre-med. Wasn't sure if that was really what I wanted, but it was the only thing that had held my interest for more than a couple of months. Even then, nothing could ever heal the rift with my father.

The other member of my family was my little sister: Donna. She was my favorite person in the world. She wasn't a genius like I was, but that didn't matter at all to me, because she was a genius in her own way. She also loved me, didn't care that I was so different from most kids my age, she even once punched a neighbor in the nose when he called me a nerd and a loser (not that I cared much for the insult, but I loved her for doing it nonetheless). Donna was six years younger than me, a huge age difference for some, still, I didn't care.

She was ten years old when mom died, and while she had dad (at the two of them got along well) I still did my best to be there for her. To make sure she knew she was loved; that we loved her, and so had mom. We'd sit together on the floor, playing with some of my old puzzles, those were the only times I ever re-did any, and while there was nothing challenging in them for myself, I loved seeing the light in her eyes, her focus, and her blinding smile whenever she managed to finish them. Her delight at her achievements.

I was almost twenty-one and close to finishing my first year in medical school when Donna fell sick. At first it didn't seem like anything more than a serious migraine, but it went from there. The pain never went away, and then came the fever, nausea, sensitivity to light, the confusion... the doctors kept changing her diagnosis, and no one had the slightest idea what she had. I was in California at the time, took the first plane to Nebraska the moment I heard what had happened. I was the one to connect all of Donna's symptoms to encephalitis.

Thankfully the doctors realized I was right in time to help her. It took a while, but she fully recovered. I stayed with her until she was back home, then returned to San Francisco.

Three years later I was ready to begin my specialty. The best part: I had been admitted into Harvard. I was going to become a neurosurgeon! I was happy, really. While I still learned fast, it was no longer a bad thing. Most of the professors didn't care how much attention I paid to them in class as long as I did all my work and passed all the tests, and that was perfect.

That was the same year that Donna graduated High-School. She was eighteen, and had already informed us that she'd be studying medicine too. She had this dream, about the two of us working together one day. I liked it. I'd promised to take her somewhere the day after her graduation to celebrate. I wasn't expecting it when I got a call from Harvard, asking me to go in for some kind of interview on the same day. Of course Donna told me to go, insisted that we'd have all summer for me to take her to celebrate. She'd go with her best friends to the mall instead... I promised to make it up to her...

I never got to do that. Just like she never made it to the mall, nor did Melissa, her friend. They were hit by a drunk-driver. Melissa, who'd been driving, died instantly, Donna died hours later, on the table, while doctors tried to save her life but they failed, she'd hit her head and blood vessels had burst, there was nothing they could do. I couldn't help but think that I'd have been able to do something, if I'd just been there. I was supposed to be there that day!

I failed Donna. I failed my little sister, the one person who believed in me the most, the only one who truly loved me since mom had died. I failed her... I promised myself, in her memory, that I'd never fail again. Never.

So I went to Harvard, I became a Neurosurgeon. My father died a year before I graduated, when I was twenty-nine, but by then the rift between us was so deep... I didn't even find it in myself to cry about it. I'd used up all my tears upon Donna's death.

By the time I got my medical degree I already had something of a reputation. Before the end of the summer of 2007 I was working at Metro-General in New York. I used the money from my father's life insurance to buy a luxurious flat just a few blocks away from the hospital. I even considered selling the farm, but in the end I didn't. That place carried so many memories, from both Donna and my mom... I didn't dare get rid of it.

It was in Metro-General that I met Dr. Christine Palmer. She reminded me of Donna, though she was actually three or four years older than my sister would have been. Even then, her eyes, the look in them whenever she focused, her smile whenever she saved a life... They were all things that reminded me strongly of Donna.

It was probably why I always helped her. Whether it was by supporting her ideas, giving her a second opinion when she asked for one, or anything else she might need from me. Even when her patients weren't the kind I usually took (she worked in the ER, after all), I never once refused her, just like I'd have never refused my sister.

Of course I wasn't seeing her as a sister when we slept together. It would be hard to tell how that started, in fact. I was well-known for being something of a casanova. And most girls did not mind, they knew what they were getting into. I was a doctor, a neurosurgeon, I had no time (or interest) in a relationship. And I didn't see any problem with sleeping with a beautiful woman (or many) if we both agreed it was what we wanted. Just sex, no strings attached.

Christine... that wasn't a string, it was a web of them, because I valued her, as a colleague and as a friend to simply ignore her afterwards. I even gave the whole relationship-thing a try, just for her, because she wanted to. It was until afterwards that I remembered how awful I was at being in a relationship. I had always been, even back in college. I wasn't romantic at all, and few things could keep my attention for long (which happened to include whatever woman I might be with). I could still remember one particular girl who'd actually slapped me and cried a river in front of me after I'd left her bed (and her apartment) after we had sex. Apparently she'd been expecting me to stay the night, and for breakfast and... just no.

Still, for Christine, I tried. And once it was all over I couldn't help but wonder if maybe that had been the mistake. Perhaps if we'd just stopped, if I'd stayed true to who I was, then I wouldn't have hurt her so badly. Then again, if I had we would have never been so close, she probably wouldn't have been there when I'd needed someone the most... and I honestly have no idea what would have become of me then.

Through my life more than a few negative terms have been used to describe me. Words like proud, arrogant, selfish, asshole... being pretty much the least of them. No one understood, no one even tried to see; the fact that it was never about the pride of the arrogance, but rather a deep seated fear of failure. I'd failed once, and it'd cost Donna her life, and I'd promised on my sister's memory to never fail again. The selfishness... they were probably right about that, but I'd already lost everyone I cared for once, it was easier to keep from that kind of pain if I didn't have anyone. Also, as long as people didn't expect me to be a good man, I didn't risk disappointing them, or having them disappoint me; as far as I was concerned the lack of expectations could only make things easier on everyone. And the last one... well, it was simply a consequence of all the other ones already mentioned.

It was also why I refused so many cases. I said they weren't interesting enough... but it was more that I didn't dare take cases that could become personal in any way, I refused to allow myself to connect in any way. I also refused cases that seemed too hard, not because I think they didn't deserve to have someone do it, but my fear of failure was simply too great. Truth is I let that fear rule my life for a very long time...

Then there was something else, something I'd never told anyone, something I barely even thought about myself: I was missing something. A piece of me... Ridiculous as it might sound, I'd always felt that way, since I was very young. Like I was a puzzle myself, only I was missing a piece, and I hated that. Mom and Donna, they helped me forget it sometimes, their smiles, their love, they helped me feel enough at peace that I'd ignore that hole inside me. Christine... she tried, but truth is she never managed it. It wasn't her fault, of course, the hole was in me, not her, but since I refused to really acknowledge that emptiness... it was easier to push her away.

My fear of failure went so far I chose to treat her poorly, to push her into leaving me, rather than breaking things off myself. Like that made things any better. Like her being the one to do it somehow made the break-up her fault, rather than mine... her failure. But no, the fault was always mine, as was the failure.

Still, those were all truths that I didn't dare see, didn't allow myself to see, for the longest time. Not until a terrible car accident (once again caused by my own fault) caused me to lose my hands (and in many ways, myself as well).

It was until I found myself sitting on a chair in the middle of my mostly empty flat (I'd sold all I could to finance all kind of experimental surgeries in an attempt to recover the use of my hands) my last wrist-watch and a cherry-wood jewelry box in front of me; that I realized how far I'd fallen. The two things before me, the only things I hadn't yet sold, and had no intention of doing so. They weren't particularly valuable, or at least they wouldn't be to whoever I might want to sell them to, but for me... The first was an engraved watch, a gift from Christine on the one and only birthday (mine) we got to celebrate together; the other was a jewelry box, it was also a puzzle box, I'd had it made while in San Francisco, a gift for Donna's graduation, never got to give it to her. They were the only mementos I still had of the three women I'd truly cared for in my whole life (the puzzle box wasn't representative only of my sister, but also of our mother, as she was the one who'd gotten me into puzzles).

Just earlier that morning I'd finally managed to push Christine away for what would probably be the last time, right after a once-friend and colleague had refused to take me on as a patient, to try an experimental procedure that might have eliminated (or at the very least lessened) the shaking in my hands. It was... disheartening, to suddenly find myself on the other side from where I'd always been; being the one rejected by a doctor who didn't want to risk ruining his 'record'; made me wonder if that was how all the people I'd once turned away had felt... Perhaps I deserved it. After everything I'd done (and not done), perhaps I was finally getting my due.

Still, I'm not the kind of man to give up, to lay down and let life pass me by (or over). With Pangborn, and especially when he told me what exactly he'd done, and where I had to go... I knew I was grasping at straws, but there really was nothing else I could think of doing. I was at the end of my rope. So I sold the flat, packed a bag with the few belongings I'd left, and used all the money I'd left to buy a plane ticket to Kathmandu.

Kamar-Taj was... intense in a way few things can be; in a way I couldn't explain, couldn't even fully comprehend when I first arrived. Once I got past its initial image, past how different it was from what I'd been expecting; it was then that I realized how little I knew, understood, about the world. Granted, I wasn't exactly having a good day, I'd gotten mugged, the watch was broken and the puzzle box had been damaged (and while I might be an expert at solving them, I couldn't build them... or fix them, not before my accident, and certainly not afterwards).

The first few days were hard. I had no idea how I was supposed to do anything, my shaking hands seemed to me like an insurmountable obstacle. Really, it had taken me eight months and seven surgeries (besides the different drugs and rehabilitation techniques) to even get to the point I was in that moment; I had no idea how I was supposed to achieve what I saw the sorcerers around me doing. It took me a month before I could get more than a handful of sparks when I tried to focus. Then again, perhaps having my life depend on it was the kind of motivation I needed to get moving.

The Ancient One... I once described her as complicated, and that was a pretty fit description, though even I could have never imagined just how complicated she was exactly. Then again, at the time I said that I had no idea just how many years she'd lived, or who she'd once been, before becoming a Sorceress, and the Ancient One. When we lost her (when I lost her), I didn't see it coming. I may only have known her for four months, and she may not have liked me much at first (at times it seemed like she didn't quite like me even afterwards... perhaps it was because of how much I reminded her of a certain former student of hers... or perhaps it was herself I reminded her of... I will never know). But even though we hadn't known each other for long, even though in the end she never gave me what I sought to get from her, her loss still hit me hard. She was the first person since my mother and sister who believed that I could be more than I was, who believed that I could be a good man, not just a great one. "It's not about you..." That's what she said to me, her last lesson to me, and it's one I took to heart. It's not about me, not about my achievements, or my failures. It was those words that finally pushed me into doing the very thing I'd been terrified of for almost half my life: I allowed myself to care again.

Wong... he was easier to understand, at least to a point. A stoic, loyal-to-a-fault, clever, brave man with an almost hilarious interest in modern music (not sure if that one was my fault or not). He was unsure of me, and rightly so, since apparently my attitude reminded everyone of a former member of the order, who'd gone dark (and who'd go on to becoming enemy to us all): Kaecilius. Still, he was willing to give me a chance, to see the good along with the bad, and he worried about me, about all of us (even if he had some odd ways of showing it, sometimes). At times I wonder what he thought when he saw me in Hong Kong, that day... I wonder if he remembers dying, the way I do... a question I shall never ask.

There were of course other sorcerers, though I didn't really make friends with hardly any of them. I was too focused on my studies, still believing back then that if I became good enough I'd be able to heal my hands, to return to my old life... It's almost funny, how long I spent holding onto that idea, that dream. Like my life as Dr. Strange was some book I'd been forced to put down one day, one I'd pick back up when I was ready. I held onto that, like I held onto a broken watch and a ruined puzzle box, to a dozen e-mails that were never answered, and even more that were never even sent (or written at all). It didn't occur to me until much, much later, that perhaps holding onto the past so tenaciously was my first mistake (or at least the first mistake in my new life).

The Cloak of Levitation was a character in and of itself (herself? himself?). Odd as it is to be thinking of it as if it were a person, I know it's not like any other normal cloak, and not only because its a relic and it allows me to fly, it has a consciousness of its own. It saved my life, more than once, either moving me away, shielding me, going against my enemies when I cannot do it myself... it has even died with me (for me?).

I've wondered at times, how the Cloak... Levi, I've been calling her Levi in my head for a while now (seemed better than thinking Cloak of Levitation all the time); I've wondered how she ever came to be. The Ancient One said it was fickle, but I don't think that's it. The first time she wrapped herself around me I got a sense of... fulfillment? Almost relief actually, happiness? It makes me wonder when she was last used; or no, not used, when she last had a partner. Someone who valued her. Kaecilius didn't seem to think much of her even as he saw me with her, like she wasn't anything extraordinary... but he's wrong, so very wrong.

It feels odd, thinking of an object as a partner, but she's not just a piece of fabric, Levi's so much more. She's... almost like a big sister, or what I think a big sister, or perhaps an aunt would have been like (not like I've ever had either, but still). She's protective, and caring, and fussy. She saw something in me, when I was so convinced I wanted nothing more than to turn my back on the whole magic-thing, to find my way back to my old life. She saw something in me, she trusted me, saved my life... I know she did not agree with my plan when it came to dealing with Dormammu (not like we ever discussed it, but still), yet she stayed with me. She went through all of that, all those deaths with me... how could I not care for her too?

There's also the fact that it was Levi who lead me to the Gloves. They were another relic, unlike Levi they had no conscience of their own, but there was power in them. They were resistant to all but the darkest of magics, helped direct magic better... they also helped neutralize the shaking in my hands. As long as I wore them they were alright.

Then there was Mordo... Karl Mordo. It's amazing (in a terrible, almost depressing kind of way) to think of how things ended on that front, and compare it to how they began. I still remember (I will always remember) that he was the one who found me, that day in Kathmandu, as I wandered through the streets, a stranger in a strange country (pun intended); I had no idea what I was looking for, or how I was supposed to find it. It was Mordo who found me, after my mugging, he saved me from a beating and even got my wrist-watch back. He was the one to take me to Kamar-Taj, even tried to help me accept how different the place was from what I'd imagined in my own head (didn't stop me from being an idiot, but he still tried...).

He was the one who found me, and he was the first one to believe in me, when no one else did. I know. I know that when the Ancient One threw me out, he was the one to speak on my behalf, he's the one that convinced her to give me a chance. He kept pushing me to do better, when everyone else was focused on their own training. He trained with me, trained me, when no one else would help me. He was there for me, as a mentor, as a friend...

I wonder if he realizes how important he was to me (how important he still is). One day he told me to fight like my life depended on it, I didn't understand it then, not until later. And yet in the end my focus wasn't on that, not really, in the end my focus wasn't on the fact that my life might depend on it, but all the other lives that did...

I still remember that day, in the New York Sanctum. After I killed that zealot... the argument we had. He didn't understand my point of view, as a doctor, my vow of doing no harm; and I didn't understand his own point of view either, warrior that he was. He thought I was making things difficult just because, not wanting to kill others, even when they wanted to kill me. And yet... and yet when the attack came, when he went to fight, I went with him. Where he lead I followed, without a doubt. I wonder if he realizes that, if he understands what it means. I know I didn't at first, the fact that there was no hesitation on my part. I was so willing to follow him. I followed him that day... I would probably still follow him, if he only asked.

When the Ancient One suggested that I should become a Master, the master of the NY Sanctum... I could see his shock (and perhaps jealousy?). My refusal probably didn't help matters any. He believed so much in her... so absolutely, the Ancient One was almost his god... and perhaps that was the problem (and my revealing her secret probably didn't help matters any). When the post of Master was offered to me, all I could think was that it was insane, eventually I only took it out of respect for her, for her memory... There's one question I wish I'd asked her, before she died. Why me? Why me when Mordo deserved that post, that honor, so much more? Perhaps... a part of me wonders if I already know the answer; the idea that he might have been meant for a higher one, that she might have meant him to be her successor. It might be just wishful thinking, but I cannot help but think that he would have deserved it, I certainly would have followed him, just like I did that day (I still would).

The Ancient One told me that I needed Mordo's strength, and he my flexibility. She meant for us to work together, and I don't think she meant it only in the fight against Kaecilius. A partnership that would have helped protect our world... I like to believe it would have worked, if only Mordo had given it a chance, given me a chance... I wonder, if I had told him how many times I died during that time loop, before Dormammu finally agreed to my bargain, would he have seen that as enough of a price to pay for breaking the laws of nature? Would he have stayed then? It's one of the many things I wonder, and the one I'm most afraid of ever asking...

**xXx**

" _Dormammu, I've come to bargain!"_

I woke up drenched in sweat, hands fisted at my sides even as they kept shaking, heart beating a mile a minute and my breaths coming in pants as I tried and failed to calm down; my own voice, pronouncing those same words still rang in my ears... I would never be able to forget those five words, nor what had followed.

413... That's the number of times I looped in time, the number of times I said those words... the number of times I died.

I have perfect memory, which meant of course I remember every single detail about each of those deaths. No one knew about it, though. With the London Sanctum in ruins, and the loss of the Supreme Sorcerer... the priority had been to make sure Earth would be protected. Even with Dormammu staying away, that was no guarantee there wouldn't be some other enemy coming after our planet. So I moved into the NY Sanctum, took my post as the new Master (though I still consider myself Doctor Strange, rather than Master Strange... perhaps a bit pointless in the grand scheme of things, but the Order just followed my wishes). I focused then on putting the place in order, and staying vigilant. Others worked on restoring the London Sanctum and a new Master had been found. Wong was in charge of Kamar-Taj for the time being.

So, all in all, there had been no time to talk about what had happened exactly, how I'd gotten Dormammu to stay away, and to take Kaecilius and his zealots with it. No one knew about the 'bargain', the deaths, or the nightmares that followed... Perfectly understandable considering that, since I'd been in a loop of time, no one knew that more than a second had passed at all. Wong had said we'd be talking about it, reports had to be redacted and added to the archives, but first the safety of the world needed to be ensured.

So Wong and the rest of the Order were working on securing the other Sanctums and Kamar-Taj, while I did my best to keep things in NY alright (and dealt with my nightmares... mostly through denials and long periods of time during which I chose to do things in the astral plane, hoping that my body sleeping would somehow be enough).

I spent three months like that, and by then I was already at the end of my rope.

I'd dropped by Metro-General Hospital a number of times, never precisely to see Christine... though I'd have liked the chance to at least say hello. I never saw her more than in passing, which was remarkable considering that most of the time she was the one treating the people I was there to see, those from my order. Not many sorcerers had chosen to stay in NY after I was made Master of the Sanctum, which was understandable, all things considered (starting with the recent attack and the death of the previous Master, and ending with the fact that I hadn't even been a Sorcerer for a full year... also, I was somewhat quirky, I knew that, and not everyone was ready or willing to deal with me).

Even though there were few people in the Sanctum, accidents were still known to happen, most of them during training, and sometimes serious enough to require a visit to the ER. Healing was a very particular branch of magic, one very few people had the aptitude for; it was also a slippery slope, where it came to the laws of nature. Mostly because the only way to heal with the mystic arts was by basically accelerating the body's natural healing; however, doing so meant pushing cells into multiplying faster than they usually did, something that also accelerated aging... which effectively meant that healing also made the person age. (I hadn't understood how Pangborn fit in all that, until I realized that he never healed himself, not really, what he did was channel magic in such a way that it allowed him to bypass his injury... he effectively used magic to compensate where his injury had severed muscles and nerves). It was why I couldn't really heal my hands, why it had never been an option.

In any case, since I was the Master of the NY Sanctum, I would go personally to make sure my people were alright, make arrangements for their return home once they were ready. I knew Christine was the one who treated most of them. She recognized them by their clothing and knew not to ask too many questions, she also always managed to cover for them, so no one else would know what they'd been doing exactly when they got injured (I didn't want to imagine the kind of trouble we all would be in, if she didn't do that). And yet, we still kept somehow missing each other every time I was in the hospital (How strong my denial must have been that I didn't realize what that must mean for the longest time...).

And then I saw her at a little Deli a few blocks from the Sanctum (not far from Metro-General), I liked the place, they had the best filled croissants in all of New York, and some very good tea as well. I'd just been by the hospital and one of the sorcerers was taking his apprentice (the latest one to get injured) back to the Sanctum, I'd decided to treat myself to some lunch. She was there, drinking her favorite latte and reading a magazine. I decided to approach her, just to say hello. There was a lot of people, and I had trouble getting to her (on the other side of the place); she raised her head at one point, and I thought she'd seen me... by the time I got there, though, she was gone. I would have believed it all to be nothing more than an accident too, if I hadn't noticed her nervous expression as she left the Deli, or the way she looked straight at me as she left... She had known I was there, she'd chosen to leave rather than speak to me.

It was then that I finally decided to accept what a part of me had known all along (yet most of me had been too stubborn to give up) Christine didn't want me anymore. I was a fool for believing there was a chance we would make things work. I still remembered the last time we'd met, touched... that day in the prep-room, after the Ancient One died:

_I held her face in my hands, relishing in the touch, her warmth, thinking of how much I'd missed it, had missed her... My accident had taken so much from me: my hands, my job, my reputation, most of my money, what I believed was my place in the world. Yet somehow she was still there..._

" _You said that losing my hands didn't have to be the end, that it could be a beginning." I couldn't help but remind her in a whisper._

" _Yeah." She agreed with me. "Because there are other ways to save lives."_

" _A harder way." I offered._

" _A weirder way." She retorted, making me chuckle._

_We were interrupted then, by someone paging her from the ER. I knew then that if I didn't say what was in my heart I might never get another chance (not the least because there was a not inconsiderable chance that I would die in the following hours), so I just came out and said it:_

" _I don't want to let you go."_

_She pressed a hand to my jaw, and I turned into her touch, and then she kissed me, a single kiss, on the cheek, before leaving._

Back then I'd wanted to believe that kiss was a sign of hope, that there was still a chance for me, for us... after what happened in the Deli I was forced to accept the truth a part of me had known all along: that kiss had been a goodbye.

That night I took off the wristwatch and placed it inside one of my drawers, where it and the inscription in the back wouldn't be tempting me again. It was time to move on.

**xXx**

" _Dormammu, I've come to bargain!"_

Yet again I woke sweating, panting, shaking. Yet, as I forced myself to relax (with no little help from Levi, who did her best to embrace me, offer me as much comfort as she could), I couldn't help but notice something else. An image I'd noticed in my dream, a tall figure wearing a dark turquoise-green velvet cloak. She (I thought it was a she) had been in my dream, though she most certainly hadn't been there in reality. Seemingly standing in a corner (of the Dark Dimension? The dream? My consciousness?). I couldn't see her face, hidden beneath the hood of her cloak as it was, though it seemed that she was looking straight at me. I had no idea who she might be, if she was even real at all.

Wong dropped by the NY Sanctum that morning. I wasn't expecting him.

"You haven't been sleeping Strange." He said, accusingly, straight out.

"Hello to you too Wong, how have you been?" I drawled. "Me, I'm just fi..."

"You're not fine, not at all." He cut me off, before repeating: "You're not sleeping."

"Has someone been tattling on me again?" I couldn't help but ask with a roll of my eyes. "Then again, I thought you were usually the one doing the tattling, rather than the other way around."

"Deflecting will not make this go away Strange." He pressed. "Nor will using astral projection. Your mind needs rest too, not just your body."

I let out a breath, I'd known it was coming, I just didn't know if I was ready for that conversation (wasn't sure I'd ever be). Not that I think he was giving me the option.

I was right of course. An hour later I found myself sitting in what had become my office with him, Master Turner (the Order's Scribe) as well as Tamara Walker (one of the most experienced sorcerers in NY) and her apprentice (when one of the students proved to be particularly talented, one of the more experienced sorcerers might take them in for further training... like Mordo once did with me), young Sachiko Nishimura (who I eventually learned was the one to 'rat me out') acting as witnesses to the official report.

The first part was actually somewhat easy. We'd decided to start with the attack on the London Sanctum, the way its destruction had echoed in Kamar-Taj, blowing me through the gateway into the NY Sanctum; explaining how I'd been there for Kaecilius attack there. I'd witnessed Master Drumm's death and then been forced to fight for my life as Kaecilius and his zealots went after me. It was I also who realized they could bend reality outside of the Mirror Dimension...

Then came the explanation after the fight, sending the zealots elsewhere through the gateways and Levi's intervention. Sachiko actually giggled at my name for the Cloak of Levitation... while Master Walker didn't seem to understand why I treated the Cloak as I did, until Levi made a somewhat rude gesture in her direction, before tickling Sachiko some to elicit even more giggles.

"The Ancient One said it was a fickle thing." Wong commented with a shrug.

"I don't think it's that at all." I couldn't help but say, as I ran a hand on Levi's edge, prompting her to return to my shoulders. "She just likes feeling appreciated, that she matters, as more than just a piece of fabric."

"But she... It is a piece of fabric!" Walker insisted.

"If you're a sorcerer and cannot see what's wrong with your statement I don't know how to help you." I stated, perhaps with more bite than entirely necessary, which was confirmed as Levi pressed on me comfortingly. "Levi has a consciousness of her own. She came to me when I was attacked, saved my life from Kaecilius and his zealot, it was also her idea to use the Crimson Bands of Cyttorak to restrain him. Something that worked well enough for a while. I wouldn't have survived if it weren't for her. She..." I had to take a deep breath before adding. "She also followed me into the Dark Dimension when I went to confront Dormammu..."

"You confronted Dormammu directly!" Sachiko practically eeped at that.

"We'll get to that." Wong stated, taking back control of the meeting.

And so we went back to the narration. My visit to the hospital, Christine's assistance, the astral fight with the zealot, then the return to the NY Sanctum. I carefully left my discovery about the origins of the Ancient One's long life out of it, something only Wong noticed. The last thing we needed was other members of the Order leaving because of what our former leader had done; especially because I couldn't help but think I was missing something in all that.

I did mention my argument with Mordo, regarding my choice not to kill, it was not a secret that whenever I trained, I always created whips, shields and sometimes staves, but never any weapon that might kill... I had also become more adept at using the Crimson Bands, while the relic wasn't quite mine, I could still use it just fine (I had also been working on creating a spell that might be able to replicate them, or at least create a similar effect).

"How do you intend to protect this Sanctum if you refuse to kill your enemies?" Master Turner asked, thankfully sounding more curious than judging.

"There are more ways to save lives, than just killing off those who oppose us." I said evenly. "I gave up my old life as a doctor, and any hope for it, to be who I am right now, doesn't mean I've forsaken the oaths I took when I became a doctor. I will try my best to do no harm, my priority will always be to save lives." I raised a hand to stop any interruptions. "I know I cannot possibly save everyone, and that I might have to kill at one point; and if it's necessary to save those under my care you can be assured I will do it. But that will never be my first option, never anything but the very last, in fact."

"You've chosen a hard path to walk, Master Strange." Turner murmured, and for the first time I heard honest respect in his voice. "A hard one indeed."

"I know." I nodded. He had no idea... but he would, and sooner than I might prefer.

So we went back to the story. The duel in the Mirror Dimension (trying my best to keep from saying anything that might give away the Ancient One's connection to the Dark Dimension), a fight that had ended with her death.

No one questioned Christine's second intervention (just like they hadn't questioned the first), everyone in NY by then knew about Christine Palmer, the fact that she was a good doctor, knew the very basics about the Order, and never asked questions when helping us. They'd all agreed it was good to have such a worthy ally (no mention was ever made about our old connection, as far as they all were concerned we were nothing more than old friends).

And then finally (finally!) we got to the moment when Mordo and I arrived to Hong Kong...

"You were wearing the Eye of Agamotto?!" Walker seemed to be honestly shocked by that.

"Yes." I nodded evenly. "I had it around my neck, had been experimenting a bit with it after reading the Book of Cagliostro. It was still around my neck when the explosion happened and I landed here, in this Sanctum. All through the attack, the duel in the Mirror Dimension, and eventually the battle in Hong Kong."

Which was less of a battle than most might expect (or it had been once I turned back time).

I couldn't help but notice the way they were all looking at me, it was beginning to make me feel uncomfortable.

"What?!" I finally snapped.

"He has no idea, does he?" Turner asked, looking at Wong, instead of at me.

"No idea about what?" I demanded, I really hated being talked about like I wasn't in the room.

"The Eye of Agamotto... some call it a relic, though it's a lot more." Turner explained, taking the tone of someone giving a lecture.

"I know about the Stone." I cut him off, somewhat petulantly.

"Yes, the Stone." He nodded, and I knew, I just knew I was missing something. "Do you want to hazard a guess who was the last person to be able to wield the Eye?"

I opened my mouth, then closed it again. I hadn't the slightest idea, but wasn't about to admit that.

"The Infinity Stones, they are the rarest objects in the universe, the most powerful too, as well as near-impossible to wield." Turner explained in a surprisingly patient tone. "It is said that in their pure state, without a container of some kind... like the Eye in this case, they will destroy whoever touches them." He shook his head, before finally declaring: "I only know of two people to have been able to wield the Eye of Agamotto."

"What... two people in the last decade?" I asked, though I had a feeling that wasn't it. "Century?"

"Two people in known history." He corrected me. "To be precise, according to records, the only sorcerer recorded to have been able to wield the Eye of Agamotto, before you, and after the creator of the relic himself, did so back in the first half of the 6th century. His name was Myrddin Willt, also known as Myrddin Emrys..."

Sachiko eeped again, but I ignored her.

"Are you pulling my leg?!" I blurted out in absolute shock. "You cannot be telling me that aside from myself and Agamotto the only person to have wielded the Eye is Merlin!" I broke off, as something else occurred to me. "Wait a second? Merlin is real?!"

"Of course he is." Turner actually rolled his eyes at me. "He was never directly a part of our Order, refused to be, choosing instead to aid his homeland, and a certain young royal I'm sure you've heard of..."

I felt like my head was about to fall off. First magic, and evil, and monsters, and now to learn that one of the oldest legends, myths... whatever of British Literature was actually real...

"Of course things didn't happen exactly as it's been told." Turner went on. "A lot has been lost through time. Especially with the stories a few added later on, full of scandal and dishonor..." He cut himself off. "If you're curious, there are a few books in the library that may be of interest to you, especially if the Eye has chosen you..."

I couldn't quite wrap my head around that one. If the Eye had chosen me... I was having enough of a hard time with the fact that Levi had chosen me, and to then be told that another object, one of untold power that hadn't been used by anyone since the Wizard Merlin...! I definitely couldn't process that.

"You know, I think the Cloak of Levitation actually hails from the same time." Walker said, somewhat offhandedly, right then. "Created by someone from outside our order. It is said it was brought to us as a memento, by one of our Sorcerer Supreme."

I blinked, something nudging at the back of my head but I couldn't quite place it, so in the end I chose to push it aside.

"Yes well, I believe we still have a matter of a report to finish." Wong decided it was time to get the meeting back into order, thankfully (or not, considering the next part I needed to talk about).

I was just about to explain that part, when Sachiko spoke up unexpectedly:

"You twisted time, didn't you?" She inquired softly, it wasn't an accusation, there was so much awe in her voice, I could hardly believe it.

"What makes you believe that?" I asked, wondering how she'd known that.

"No casualties." She explained with a small shrug. "I've gone through the reports from Hong Kong. Not a single one. And yet... after what happened in London, and even here, that didn't seem quite possible. Unless time was changed."

I couldn't help but smile, that girl really was a genius...

"Indeed." I agreed.

I told them then. About arriving to Hong Kong with Mordo, only to find the battle was over already, the Sanctum had fallen and Dormammu was entering our world. Using the Eye had been more of an instinct than a conscious decision. And yet... even that hadn't been enough. I had just mentioned flying into the spot where the Dark Dimension had begun to meld with ours, when I found myself interrupted again:

"You fought Dormammu and won?!" Sachiko exclaimed, shocked.

"No." I hated breaking her hopes, but she needed to understand the truth. "I didn't fight him, and I certainly didn't win. I made a bargain."

I told them as stoically and succinctly as I could the basics of my plan: the fact that I'd known I stood no chance in direct combat, the time loop, and the terms of the actual bargain... Sachiko's eyes widened in horror, even as tears gathered in the corners of her eyes, Turner and Walker just looked at me quietly, it was Wong who spoke:

"How many times?" He asked me simply.

I didn't bother pretending I didn't know what he was talking about.

"413." I said simply.

I didn't tell him that the first two hundred had been quick, some so fast I'd hardly felt them at all. Then the next two hundred... that was when he'd been trying to break me, to make me break the loop if only to get away from him, it was when he got creative, killing me in as many different ways as he could think. The last thirteen though, those were the worst, because that was when he finally realized that nothing would make me break the loop, yet he wasn't yet ready to agree to my bargain, and so he took to killing me slowly, as slowly as he could, seeking to cause as much pain as possible before I died... once or twice I'd pushed myself a bit, just enough to have it end (or at least to grant me a reprieve, as small as it might be).

The look in Wong's face, though, told me that he could imagine at least some of it. Still, he was kind enough not to ask.

"That's why you can't sleep, isn't it?" Sachiko asked, very softly.

"Do you know what an eidetic memory is, Miss Nishimura?" I asked her kindly.

"Photographic memory." She answered instantly, then her eyes widened as she understood.

"I have it." I confirmed. "It's how I finished my MD and PhD and the same time. It's how I got so far in my studies of the Mystic Arts in such a short time. It's also why I remember every single time I died while in the Dark Dimension. While awake I can keep myself busy, while asleep... that's a different thing."

"So you'd rather not sleep." She finished for me.

"You knew what was going to happen." Walker commented evenly. "When you went to confront Dormammu. You knew he was too strong for you, it's why you made your plan, and you knew it wouldn't be easy for him to agree to it. You knew you would die..."

"Yes." I didn't see the point in lying.

"Why do it then?" She finally got to the point.

"Come on, 9 billion and some people, versus one?" I tried to drawl, didn't quite manage it.

"Strange..." Wong said simply, quietly.

I knew it was pointless to pretend with him.

"The Ancient One... she said something to me, right before she died." I admitted, very quietly. "She said, 'It's not about you'... Those were her exact words too. And she was right. For too many years, I made things about myself. My wishes, my aspirations, my accomplishments, my fears... my pain. She deserved more, she believed I could do, could be, more. Like you said, I could never hope to defeat Dormammu on my own... I believe even our whole Order could have never done that. So I cheated."

"You saved us all..." Sachiko breathed, awed.

"And you paid the price." Wong finished for her.

I was sure I wasn't the only one thinking about Mordo, his words that day... Would telling him the truth really have changed things that much? Would it have changed anything at all? I didn't know the answer to that question and was honestly afraid to find out.

**xXx**

Talking things out helped some. At least people knew the truth, and I was sure those who'd been present weren't the only ones looking at me with respect afterwards (there was no way Sachiko Nishimura kept things to herself, unless Walker ordered her to, and there was no reason to do that really). It did nothing for my nightmares though, I would still wake up way too early, gasping, panting, trembling and with the same words echoing in my head (sometimes even falling from my lips in a neverending mantra). I also thought I was beginning to remember other things: the moments between the end of one loop and the beginning of the next, the moments when I'd been, for all intents and purposes, dead. I remembered standing in the middle of nowhere, some kind of limbo, surrounded by nothing more than mist. Or almost nothing...

The most intriguing part, however, was that I also kept seeing the same woman, in every dream, most of the time standing in a corner (of the dream? Of reality? Of my freaking consciousness?) but other times she was closer. Those moments, between end and beginning, between death and life, she was there, right beside me, enveloped in her turquoise-green velvet cloak, seemingly keeping guard by my side...

Wong found me as I sat on the attic, by the huge window, holding a piece of paper in my hand. It had a drawing, a perfect drawing, one that I'd obviously not made by hand.

"And who might that be?" He asked, intrigued.

There were actually two images in the paper. The first was a full-body figure, there was nothing to tell for sure whether it was male or female, and it was covered in a floor-length cloak, opened just the slightest bit at the front, just enough to allow darker colored clothes to be seen, a dress most likely, and a face, almost completely obscured by the hood of her cloak. The second image was a close up, profile, showing head and shoulders (the face turned) the face was clearer there, feminine and with some aristocratic factions, light skin, bright eyes, full lips and a hint of what seemed like dark hair.

"I haven't the slightest idea." I admitted gruffly. "All I know is that she's been in my dreams, my nightmares, every night... and I know she wasn't there when it was happening."

At least not during the times I'd been alive. There was a lot I still did not understand about death, in general and my own specifically, to be in any way sure about that part.

"An old friend? Old lover perhaps?" Wong suggested.

I wanted to scoff, wanted to tell him I'd definitely remember if I'd ever slept with a woman that beautiful, and I would have! Also, I had an inkling that a woman such as her wouldn't have given the old-me the time of day... And yet, something in his words still rang true. I had no idea what any of it meant. It was driving me crazy!

"I suppose you'll have time to think it over later." Wong shrugged. "We just got a call from Dr. Palmer in Metro-General. A man was taken to the ER late last night. He just woke up, and he's asking for you."

"Who?" I didn't understand, no one in the Sanctum had gotten injured in the last week.

"Johnathan Pangborn." Wong's answer caused shivers down my back.

I had no idea what had happened exactly, why Pangborn was in the hospital, or why he was calling for me; still, an instinct told me it couldn't be anything good.

**xXx**

From all the things I might have been expecting as I walked to Metro-General, finding the man who'd helped saved me in many ways, who'd pointed me in the right direction to find my own salvation (even if not the kind I once thought I wanted) laying on a bed, paralyzed... again, wasn't one of them. It was one thing I could have never begun to imagine...

"What happened to you?!" I blurted out, too shocked to even try being kind.

Christine, standing in a corner of the room (I barely even noticed her) shot me a look.

"It's why I called you." He answered, seemingly not caring of my lack of tact. "A... common friend? Paid me a visit last night. He was spouting some nonsense about stolen power, and nature and whatever else. He claimed that he could finally see what was wrong with the world..."

"What?" I knew I wasn't going to like the answer, but I still had to ask.

"Too many sorcerers." Pangborn answered simply.

I almost cursed, almost. I did stand up abruptly, making a wild gesture with a hand.

"Strange?" Wong, who'd accompanied me asked.

The moment I turned to look at me my mind was already working a mile a minute. Considering all the possibilities, and what needed to be done.

"Wong." I said. "I need you to go back to the Sanctum, put everyone on alert. Tell them that no one is to go anywhere alone, they're all to stay in groups, the more numerous the better, and the youngest apprentices are to stay in close proximity to more experienced sorcerers at all times. Also, put the other Sanctums and Kamar-Taj under alert. We have a Sorcerer stealing powers, he will likely go after those on their own first."

"Those most vulnerable." Wong nodded in understanding. "What will you do?"

"I will stay here." I answered honestly. "Make sure Johnathan is alright. Also, make a few calls, in case we need to move him somewhere safer, same with the people at the Sanctum."

"You're planning something." Wong said, it wasn't a question.

"We both know who's doing this." I told him quietly. "He went after Johnathan because, in his mind, he violated the natural laws with his healing. He cannot stand that..."

"He will go after you next." Wong finished for me. "Then you need to be at the Sanctum."

"No!" I said instantly. "That's precisely the last place I must be. I won't even stay here, once I've made sure Johnathan will be alright."

"You're making yourself a target." Pangborn looked at me in disbelief. "Why?"

"Because he's coming after me anyway, and I rather he not hurt others in the process." I shrugged and then admitted, more quietly. "Also..."

"You think you can change his mind." Wong murmured.

"Yes." I didn't bother lying to him.

"What if you're wrong?" Wong questioned.

I could tell he wasn't trying to change my mind, or to tell me I was wrong, he just wanted to make sure I knew what I was getting myself into.

"It's a risk I gotta take." I admitted quietly. "Mordo is a good man. His world view has been challenged, all his beliefs shattered. He put all his trust, his faith, in someone who let him down, and the shock was so great... he's lost, and if I can help him find his way back, I must try." I looked straight at Wong. "He believed in me Wong. Even before the Ancient One did, he gave me a chance. I can do no less."

"Lets just hope this desire of yours will not get you killed." Wong muttered.

He didn't like it, but whether he respected my position as Master, or simply myself in general, in the end he didn't try to stop me.

"I might be able to help with that." Christine offered quite unexpectedly.

I had almost forgotten she was there at all.

"Ch... Dr. Palmer?" I questioned, I'd promised myself that if we ever spoke again I'd keep cool, be polite, she was helping the Order too much to do any less.

"Stephen... You seemed to imply you need somewhere to go." She explained quietly. "I'm leaving for a medical conference in Chicago in a few hours, you're welcome to stay in my apartment while I'm gone."

"That's... that's actually a very good idea." I nodded. "Thank you."

I followed her out once Wong left, promising Johnathan to be back (I would be keeping him company until his wife got out from work and arrived). She handed me a key, after commenting I probably didn't really need it.

"About the other day at the Deli..." She began, then broke off, hesitant.

"Dr... Christine..." I said softly, a hand lightly on her arm. "It's quite alright."

"No I... I never wanted to hurt you Stephen..." She insisted.

"I know." I assured her. "You are in your right to make your own choices. And your choice has taken us down different paths. Or that should be, both our choices. I tried to hold on so hard to you, perhaps because I was simply too afraid to accept that there was nothing left of my old life anymore." I shook my head, somewhat self-deprecating. "Even after everything that's happened, everything I've learned, I was still trying to use you. I always did know you were much too good for me Christine..."

"No!" She shook her head vehemently. "It's not about that at all! I mean, well you did do a lot of stuff that hurt me. But it wasn't about that. I... you're a good man Stephen, never doubt that. You might have been... less than that for a long time, but that doesn't matter now. You're a good man, and one day you'll find a woman that will love you, who will be beautiful and courageous and ready to stand beside you in this new life you've made for yourself. But that person cannot be me. I... I want to help you, I like helping your friends... but I cannot be the one who sits at home waiting for her man to come back from the latest battle against evil, or even worse, if you were to ever not come back... I cannot handle that. I know there are other women out there that do it, and they have my utmost respect, but I cannot be like them."

"And you shouldn't have to be." I assured her. "There's nothing wrong with knowing your own limits Christine. You're a great, beautiful, kind, brave woman, and I have no doubt that you will find the right kind of man for you. I think... maybe we were simply never meant for one another."

I had tried to force myself into being something I wasn't, and it wasn't a matter of being or not ready, I simply wasn't the kind of man Christine needed in her life, and I could finally accept that. I still hoped she (both of us really) would one day find our matches.

"I think I would like to try being friends though." She offered then.

"I would like that too." I agreed.

She kissed me then, on the cheek, much like she had that day, before the battle in Hong Kong.

"Promise me you will take care." She murmured, hugging me tightly but briefly.

"I will do my very best." I assured her.

She nodded once, and then she was gone.

**xXx**

I waited until Maureen arrived and made sure she'd be alright. Walker had dropped by and placed a protective ward on Johnathan's room to make sure he and his wife would be safe. Maureen knew about us, about what had happened to her husband, their son didn't (though the two adults had made up an excuse to have him stay at a friend's place for a few days, so he'd be safer). I promised them both we'd make sure they were alright; also promised myself to find a way to help Johnathan, if anyone deserved being healed, it was him.

It took three days for Mordo to come after me. I suppose he might have been spying on me, making sure I was really alone, perhaps preparing himself for the confrontation (I would never believe it'd taken him that long to find me, he was too good for that).

I still wasn't sleeping well, though I wasn't sure what was worse anymore, if the painful memories of my many deaths, the confusing moments between dead and living, or the figure in the long cloak I could almost believe I knew, yet I couldn't even remember her name...

I was deep in meditation (the only way I got any real rest anymore... though I knew it was a temporary solution at best), when it finally happened. I might have been a genius, but I was still young, in some ways, still had much to learn, like Wong had said in a few occasions. I did not sense Mordo's approach until he was already upon me, and by then it was already too late. All I could do was take a breath and brace myself for the pain I expected to follow, whether he tried to kill me or steal my magic, I knew it'd be painful nonetheless...

Nothing happened, or not quite nothing, I could sense a shift, I also became aware of the fact that I couldn't move. My whole body was immobilized, nothing but the automatic motions (like my breathing, the beating of my heart and such) remained. I couldn't even open my eyes. I knew something was happening, but had no idea what at all. Still, the lack of pain was surprising.

"Strange..." His voice was suddenly in my ear. "How I wish it'd never come to this... but you broke the laws of nature, and justice must be served."

For a moment I could almost believe he'd whispered an apology to me at the end, but that was impossible, why would he be doing anything at all if he was sorry?

I couldn't know for sure how much time passed before I could move again, but the moment I could I swiftly got on my feet, looking around me. Mordo was nowhere to be seen. It also took me almost a handful of seconds to realize why my surroundings felt... off. I wasn't in the real world anymore...

"The Mirror Dimension..." I murmured to myself.

A quick search confirmed what I already suspected: my sling ring was gone. _You don't want to get stuck in here without your sling ring_. That's what the Ancient One had said. She also had explained how the dimension was used to train, survey and contain threats... was that what Mordo intended? What he saw me as? A threat to be contained? All the same, I was alive and unscathed, he hadn't even tried to hurt me, I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad one, but I'd rather be positive about it. Didn't change the fact that I still needed to find a way to get out of the Mirror Dimension and back to the real one... without the sling ring... I hadn't the slightest idea how I was supposed to manage that.

**xXx**

It was one hell of a week. I'd basically walked all around the Mirror version of NY and nothing. No one could see me, and I could in no way affect the real world, no matter how insistently I used magic in the Mirror Dimension, it was pointless. And with the threat of Mordo no one in the Sanctum had so much as stepped into the Dimension for training. I saw Wong, Turner, Walker, and the rest of the most experienced sorcerers go out into NY every other day, quite probably looking for me (Wong himself had gone to Christine's apartment twice, but of course they never found me). I was beginning to lose hope of ever finding my way back.

Also, the Dimension wasn't helping matters any. On the third day I'd actually expended enough energy trying to force something onto the real world I pretty much dropped unconscious. I'd managed a good few hours of sleep with no dreams... but eventually the dreams did come, and they seemed to be even worse in the Mirror Dimension. She was always there... she... and I could never touch her. No matter how many times or how far I reached for her, I could never quite reach her, it was frustrating, disheartening, downright depressing...

The only comfort I had was Levi, and I could tell she was as stressed out as I was. She tried to help of course, be there for me, but I knew we'd probably both go crazy unless by some kind of miracle we managed to get out, and soon.

In the end I wasn't quite sure how it happened exactly (had no idea what happened at all, if I was honest with myself). I'd been in the Sanctum, wandering, and I ended in the attic (not a new thing really, I spent a lot of time there, looking out the window, at the city extending beneath me). I was actually walking in the direction of the window when I saw her. Her back was to me, and I felt the sudden need not to make a sound, like she was some kind of mirage and would vanish if I made the slightest noise...

Of course that was why, the next step I took seemed to echo around me, almost mocking me.

She twisted around instantly, and for the first time I could truly see her face: perfect, unblemished porcelain skin with the slightest rosy tone, full coral-pink lips, almond shaped bright green eyes, as bright as the clearest emeralds I'd ever seen; and her hair really was black, as dark as a raven's wing, thick and somewhat curly, though I could see very little of it, with the seemingly ever present turquoise-green hooded cloak covering her.

"Oh..." The lightest of exclamation escaped her lips.

I didn't even think about it, I just stepped forward, reaching for her. I wanted to call to her, but hadn't the slightest idea what name to call. One of her white hands was outside the cloak and I reached for that. I only managed to brush her fingertips, the slightest whisper of a touch, and then as I gave another step, intending to reach her, to hold her, to learn who she was... Everything changed abruptly. It was as if the world tilted beneath my feet without warning. For a moment I wondered if someone had altered reality around me, perhaps Mordo had returned? Was he finally moving against me? But I soon realized it wasn't that, I dropped to my knees with a painful bang, hard enough I could feel the jarring deep into my bones. It still took me two seconds (or five) to realize everything around me had changed, in a way I could have never expected...

"Doctor Strange!"

I only vaguely heard Sachiko call me, less aware of her, and more of the fact that She was gone again. Then my mind finally caught up with me as I realized that somehow (miraculously) I was back in the real world. Darkness swallowed me but a moment later.

_Creatures, other than human (more than human) I was among them and I felt complete... Things had changed, but that was alright because I wasn't alone, and as long as we were together nothing could ever be that hard, that bad... A thousand faces, a thousand places, times, lives, between joy and grief, success and failure, victory and defeat, life and death. A thousand lifetimes walking the worlds, the universe, side by side._

_War, there was always war all around me, I grew tired of it, and especially, I grew tired of us losing each other to it. All I wanted was one lifetime where we could be happy, where we could be together and not fear that any moment something might happen that would rip us out of each other's arms again (old I might have been, in more ways than one, but I still hadn't understood that war is a neverending curse that plagues every world and every race in the universe)._

_A shift all around me, and suddenly I was standing on grass, dressed in blue robes, eyes fixed on the watery surface before me, and the figure slowly walking out of it, she was a vision, dressed in an off-white that wouldn't be out of place in the open ocean, as part of the surf, dark hair falling down her back, the water fell down her form, not a single drop clinging to her at all. In my eyes, she was beauty personified..._

_I blinked, and found myself surrounded by shadows and mist, confused, my mind still trying to catch up with the facts. Was I dead or was I alive? I couldn't quite remember what I'd been doing just before waking up in that odd place. I had been at war, had been fighting a battle... or had I? All thought fell to the wayside though, the moment I laid eyes on her. She was dressed all in black, and her equally dark hair looked somewhat unkempt, something that didn't fit with some odd idea of her in the back of my head (which wasn't logical at all, I'd never seen her before in my life... and I'd certainly have remembered one such as her)... She turned around then, and seemed to transform before my eyes, though the only thing that really changed was the light that suddenly appeared in her eyes._

" _Stephanos..." She called in the sweetest voice I'd ever heard, even ambrosia couldn't be sweeter._

_Stephanos... yes, that was my name. It had to be, hadn't it? It was what she was calling me._

_So many stories, so many lifetimes, each as unsatisfying as the last, for I was always missing something and had no idea what exactly it was. And always at the end of it I'd get the chance, just for a few seconds, to see her, to stand by her, before it was all over and she was gone again. Or was I the one gone?_

_My mind seemed to finally reach working order, right as I found myself sitting behind the wheel of a car, that was enough to almost freeze me in shock (I had barely sat in any vehicles since my accident, certainly hadn't driven any); only I didn't freeze, as I soon realized, I had no control at all over my own body. It was like I was trapped inside a dream (nightmare? Memory?), could do nothing but let it take me where it may. I heard Billy on the phone, reading over the files of people who wanted me to take them on as my patients, heard as I rejected each one, over completely stupid reasons... and then it happened, the accident:_

_I was trapped inside my own body, or the memory of it as the car spun out of control, flipped twisted and so many more things I couldn't really comprehend. My hands hit the dashboard and I couldn't even feel the pain, the shock was simply too much. When the movement finally stopped I was still in my seat, hands practically destroyed, and I wasn't aware of anything at all... or not quite, back then I hadn't been, but as I sat inside my own body I began noticing things I hadn't back then... like the figure sitting on the passenger seat of my car, looking at me with a mix of worry and the greatest compassion._

_She stayed by my side until the paramedics arrived, through the helicopter ride, and even as doctors approached and took the gurney I was on into the operating room. She never left my side. There was so much feeling in her eyes, half-obscured as they were beneath the hood of her ever-present cloak, I couldn't possibly have missed it._

" _It's not your time yet..." I thought I could hear her whisper. "As much as I might miss you, as much as I might love you... No. Not yet Stephanos, and not like this."_

_She was there by my side, invisible to the human eye, through my time in the hospital, through all the surgeries, the PT sessions, the sleepless nights and frustrating days. She was there on the day I finally pushed Christine hard enough to make her leave and as I stood against the window, looking at my unkempt reflection I could see her, standing behind me and just a little to a side, a single white hand peeking from her cloak, extended as if she were trying to touch me and keeping herself from it at the same time._

_I saw pieces of my own time at Kathmandú, through my training, my discoveries, and my unexpected (and heart-breaking) battle in the New York Sanctum. Wasn't sure how I knew it, but I got the sense that while she hadn't been there at the time, she'd come to know what had been happening to me... eventually._

_She was there again, finally, in Hong Kong and even followed me into the Dark Dimension itself (through her presence there was even more blurry and less defined than anywhere else)._ _And then I died for the first time, found myself standing in shadows and mist, like I had so long ago... (or had I?), and she was there, right beside me, except there was no cloak and instead of any black or off-white dresses (or green, or red or blue...), she was wearing a heavy purple velvet gown, and while that one too had a hood, in that moment it was pushed back and I could see her raven-black hair in a loose braid falling all the way to the small of her back._

" _Oh Stephanos..." She spoke in a language I did not know, yet I could understand it anyway. "Oh my love I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry you're in such pain. I wish so much I could help you yet there's nothing I can do, nothing but stand here, silent, watching you, holding you for a fraction of a second, between death and living. My valiant knight... I know this is hard, I know it hurts, but do not give up. Please never give up... Please..."_

_I hadn't remembered those words, not at the time, and still some kind of force had kept me from giving up, had pushed me to endure dying 413 times without breaking... Perhaps a part of me, instinctively, had known she was there, had known she'd never leave me... never..._

I woke up abruptly, paying no attention at all to my surroundings, not quite noticing the fact that I was in my own room, laying on my own bed, or even the real world at all, a single word escaped my lips in a soul-wrenching scream:

"ELAINE!"


	2. The Blessing of the Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A thousand apologies for the lateness. My internet was being problematic last night, and I was busy this morning. In any case, that matters little, here we are with the next chapter. Though a few notes first. 
> 
> As the tags state, this fic will deal with a mix of mythologies (a rather colorful mix, if I do say so myself). Particularly creation myths. And then there's the Arthurian legends, of which I've taken pieces and twisted them just enough to fit my reality. You need not know much of any of them, they're just background. Also, keep in mind that whatever version you might now, I'm mixing up things, so they won't necessarily be as you know them, better to keep an open mind. I'd also like to make it known that, whatever I might write in this stories, doesn't necessarily mean I believe such things. I am a believer in true love, in eternal love, and think reincarnation might be possible; also agree with the whole 'the body doesn't matter, one must love the soul...', but truth is I am religious (to a point) and am perfectly aware that much of the mythology I'm using here would never fit with the ideas some might have of religion and god. Keep in mind this is fiction, in the end, nothing more. 
> 
> For a while now I've believed that Helena deserved to tell her story, and here was finally her chance. It came out a bit darker and a lot more complex than I planned, but I like the way I ended portraying her. I also hope you'll like what I've done with her. Time to show, once and for all, that my Helena Lokidottir has little (or nothing) to do with mythological Hel, or even Marvel's Hela... 
> 
> While Helena never actually sings in the story, it is explained that she does have the voice for it (the reason why she doesn't is in the story), and she does play the violin. For those interested I'd recommend some songs that might help you get into her head, so-to-speak: "Nothing Else Matters" and "Who Wants to Live Forever" as performed by David Garrett; "Ever Dream" and "Unintended", performed by Barbara Carvalho. Also, there are two songs I imagine she would, in fact sing, if she were of a mind to. "Who Wants to Live Forever" the cover sung by Katherine Jenkins, for the first half of her story, and "Unintended", cover by Hayley Richman. Especially the last song, I think it shows perfectly the state of Helena's mind and heart in the later parts of this story (and the girl has a lovely voice, exactly how I imagine Helena singing). 
> 
> We have a brief cameo from Sherlock here as well as references to Smallville, it all goes back to events that have taken place in other fics from the series. 
> 
> Anyway, that's that. Time to get on with this week's chapter. Next week, the finale!

**The Blessing of the Light (Helena)**

No one is ever truly alone, if only they open their eyes and see...

I remember a time when the universe wasn't as we know it today. A time were there was neither darkness nor light, both as irrelevant as the other, an era where time itself meant nothing at all. I remember creation and change; taking a chance at a new existence, and believing that regardless of the risk it would be worth it, because I'd never be alone. Perhaps I was being foolish, or just naive; my previous state of existence hadn't allowed me to understand things like life and death, things like separation...

Were anyone to ask me, it'd be impossible to explain how long I've loved Stephanos. We've loved each other for as long as we've both existed, and before that point love was simply irrelevant. A lot of things were irrelevant back then, nothing beyond simply existing seemed to matter much. I wonder at times, about those who stayed behind, those who did not choose to change... I wonder if they even exist still at all.

I've gotten the chance to see a great many things through the ages. The creation and destruction of hundreds of worlds, the lighting and snuffing of thousands of stars. I got to see an amazing world, a perfect mix of everything imaginable, fall apart, breaking off into separate realms, each carrying a piece of what once had been. No one remembers that time anymore, a time when Nine were one, only me... and him.

Of course I did not know everything all the time. The brains of living beings are hard things to deal with. Things like eternity, changing worlds, the sheer size of the universe can be hard (if not nigh impossible) for them to process. Mortals particularly have a habit of relegating such topics, and the very existence of any rational race beyond themselves to mere myths and fiction. And I'd live like them, limited but beautiful lives, and when that life came to an end and I found myself beyond such restraints again, my mind would expand, my soul would unfurl and a great many things became clear to me again.

Some times I was fortunate enough to have found Stephanos in life, others not so much; it was bad when we lost each other, but even worse when we missed one another completely. There were times when I was actually unsure, unsure if it was all worth it. All the pain, the grief, even the love at times was so intense I wasn't sure how that alone didn't kill me. At the same time, even the harder emotions were so much better than Before, back when I (when we) felt nothing, when emotions did not exist, because we were beyond them all.

The Ancient Vows, when they were found (discovered? Created? I honestly don't know) made things better in some ways, worse in others. We felt a pull towards each other, an inexorable force that pushed us to be together; it wasn't always easy, but we always knew it to be worthy. Also, if we happened to renovate the vows, in any given life, it would allow us to connect in a much deeper way, as if reaffirming that commitment brought upon us the weight and the strength of all the lives, all the time we'd already spent together by that point. It also allowed us to communicate better, and to share energy and powers (which was a good thing, because while in most of my lives I was born with magic, that wasn't always the case with Stephanos).

I think that throughout my existence I got the chance to be every single being: elf, dwarf, human (though not the modern humans, but some belonging to another time and place, longer lived, and sometimes even wiser), and dozens of other races, many of which have no names that can be translated into other languages.

One particularly memorable life, came in Earth (Midgard, Terra... however one might wish to call the world). I wasn't human though, I was a Naiad, though even then I was more than just that, for I could walk the land with the same ease I walked through the bottom of the lake I called home. I was also one of those who chose to intervene in human affairs, the first but not the last (some might even argue I was the reason some of the others, of my sisters, intervened as well). I knew some of what human mythology had made of us, of our existence, from those who believed there had only ever been one Lady in that lake, to those who thought us angels, or even envoys of evil and death... Then again, not all of my sisters had the best of intentions (or feelings) when they chose to intervene in certain points.

However, perhaps the most memorable part of that particular life, was how close I got to be with my Stephanos. He was going by a completely different name of course, but that mattered little. Names mattered little when you'd had them by the dozen. Some were special of course, some actually repeated, or variations thereof. For the most part we held onto one each: he was Stephanos and I was Elaine.

In some ways, some might say he was actually the reason I chose to intervene as much as I did in human affairs (something not many of our kind did, not since the time of the gods had passed). But then again, he was dear to me, and he'd chosen to aid a young boy-king in his chosen task... I even went as far as finding the best weaver among those who still held magic in their blood, one from the Miller's line, and commissioned the creation of a cloak, one fit for a king (if it also had some magic woven in... well, it was my hope it'd help protect my love's young charge).

That was one beautiful life... even if it didn't last as long as I'd have wished. I could have lived for much longer of course. Or perhaps it'd be more accurate to say, most Naiads would have lived much longer, but therein was one of the downsides to the Ancient Vows (at least to some) once they'd been pronounced (and in whatever life they were reaffirmed) we were simply incapable of living without the other. And so when the time came for my love to depart, I need only to lay down, close my eyes, and let go myself, let my soul follow his, like it was always meant to. I didn't even see it as death anymore. Life, death, they made little difference to me, as long as the two of us were together.

And then I woke up to a new life, perhaps my most wondrous yet. I was born as a child of mixed heritage, with a Ljósálfar for a mother, and a Jotun for a father (one who was also the adopted son of the royal couple of Asgard)... and thus my life as Helena Lokidottir began.

**xXx**

Being Helena Lokidottir changed so many things, in so many ways... most of which I could have never imagined. Truth was I was tired. It was probably to be expected, considering all the lives I'd lived, it was my belief that after a while everything felt the same. Being born, having a family, growing up, leaving said family behind, friends that come and go, finding love... and almost always ending up involved in some kind of war. Eventually it began feeling almost like a chore! Ridiculous perhaps, but it was how I felt.

Being Helena Lokidottir was no chore at all. I had experienced love before, even the deep, unconditional kind only a mother can give and yet... and yet there was something about Tinúviel that touched me in a way none of my other mothers ever had. Truth be told after a while I hadn't made much of an effort to remember the names of others but Tinúviel? Her I'll never forget. At some point my heart decided she was my mother, the only one that really counted. Nana, I called her (Mama in elvish). Ada (Papa) was no less, he was a wonderful man too, but there was just something about Nana, about her touch when she held me, her warmth, about her voice as she spoke to me, as she sang to me...

So I was born Helena, daughter of Lalaith Mirloth, better known as Tinúviel, princess of Alfheim (she'd almost been Queen too, before leaving it all behind out of love for Papa) and Asgard; and Loki Odinson, second prince of Asgard (unknown to most he was actually the adopted son of Odin and Frigg, having been born the youngest son of King Laufey of Jotunheim). It was said that I was the light of my parents' eyes, and for a while, when I was young, rumors stated that I might one day come to be known as the Goddess of Beauty... that day never came.

Truth be told, in other lifetimes families have lasted longer (at times they even lived longer than I did) yet somehow I don't think any of them loved me as much as Nana did in the few (relatively) years we had together. She loved me, since the day she knew she was pregnant with me...

" _...I've seen the light  
It's in my daughter's eyes"_

She said that once, part of the song she'd just created. They're words I'll never forget.

I love Nana, I always will. And Ada too of course. We shared a lot: our looks, and our magic. He taught me, much like Grandma had taught him when he was young. I was younger than any other sorcerer-apprentice, they said that meant I was powerful, would one day be one of the most powerful spellweavers in the universe, just like Ada, and that made me proud. I even learned how to fight, though I did not like it much, but I did it, because Nana and Ada were both warriors, and I wanted to make them proud (Nana said I didn't have to do it, but I wanted to be able to help, to protect her, and my little siblings, if it was ever necessary).

Nana and I got along perfectly, people said that even if I looked most like Ada, I was very much like Nana, soft, and sweet and nice, and very beautiful. I always thought Nana was the most beautiful woman in the universe... Ada certainly said she had the most beautiful voice, it's why he gave her the name of Tinúviel (nightingale in elvish). I agreed.

Having magic, especially having as much of it as I did, meant that some things began coming to me, even without having found Stephanos again just yet. An accident with a spell (I don't even remember which spell it was at all) made me remember that wasn't my first life, when I was still quite young. I became a mess, cried myself to sleep for three days, Nana holding me tight against her, so worried, not understanding what was wrong exactly, until finally, on the third day, I told her. I blurted it all out: the sensations, the emerging memories, the certainties that life as Helena Lokidottir wasn't my first one... and the fear of what that might mean for my relationship with them, with my family.

"Oh calum amin (my light)..." She breathed out, pressing a kiss to my brow. "But that doesn't change anything at all!"

"Nana..." I honestly did not understand.

"You're my daughter darling, you will always be my daughter." She assured me, running a hand gently through my long black hair. "I will always love you as such. And regarding any other lives... I've always known. Since you were a tiny baby in my arms... I knew you didn't just belong to me. You belong to the universe in ways I may not be able to fully comprehend. Your soul is an old one, I can see it in your eyes, much like I see it in your Ada's eyes, and he in mine. I know not if our paths might have crossed before, I have no memories of any life prior to this one, none aside from the certainty that your Ada and I belong together, always have and always will. Who knows? Maybe this is not the first time I'm your Nana!"

There was such ease as she said said those words, such certainty, like there had never been a doubt that we were family, like such a thing was simply unthinkable. I believed it, I believed her. Also, her belief that it might not be our first life as family would comfort me one day, when little else seemed to be able to.

It was the worst day of my life. I'd always known there was a chance I'd one day lose her, lose Ada and her both. Even if we lived for thousands of years (our races' life expectancy), they were still older than me, and could be expected to die before. Also, they were warriors, and their lives weren't without danger (Nana had already been in at least two battles, and there had been at least one attempt on her life... I'd heard the story, how Sif had saved her nearly at the cost of her own life, it was part of the reason why she was family to us). Nothing could have prepared me, prepared any of us, for what happened that day.

The risk was supposed to be minimum. Yes, we had a couple of insane spellweavers going around, causing mayhem, one of them had actually escaped (or been helped out) of prison (after having tried to kill Nana, actually), but we never expected things to happen as they did. For all the best warriors (Ada and Uncle Thor included) to be called to fight, leaving us vulnerable. Nana might have been a warrior, but she was in no state to do battle, pregnant as she was with my little sister (Meril, her name was going to be Meril...).

I remember very little of that day; most of it happened too fast, and what didn't I've since blocked out, the events too dramatic. I do know a few things though: Nana was attacked, I tried to protect her and was hurt myself, my little sister died, I tried to save Nana and almost died in the process. I will especially never forget Nana's voice as she sang that day, the last song before the light went out in her eyes... it was as if half the stars had been snuffed out in an instant.

I woke up among shadows and mist, painfully aware that it wasn't the first time I did, and that I was very much not-dead. They'd managed to save my life, even when I couldn't save Nana... for the longest time I wasn't sure if that was a good thing. Especially when, no matter how hard I tried, nothing I did helped Ada at all. In fact, there were times when I couldn't help but think that my very presence saddened him sometimes.

I didn't come out of that particular confrontation with Amora unscathed either. My body hurt for a long time, but far more long-lasting were the scars covering almost half of my body, the left half. My face was actually the least scarred, or at least they weren't quite as visible, until the light hit me in such a way... and then people would turn away, some would even gasp and moan in pity. I was no longer a goddess of beauty (perhaps I was never meant to be).

Ada went more than a little crazy after Nana died. It was painful to watch, especially because there was nothing I could do to help. It didn't surprise me, not really, Nana had explained to me the consequences of being a match a long time before, and I remembered enough of them. Neither Stephanos nor I had ever gone insane at the absence of the other... then again, we never lived long after the other had passed (except for the lives where we never managed to meet, but in those we never reaffirmed our vows, and perhaps that kept the more intense effects of the bond at bay). I wasn't even sure why Ada was holding on, if it was because of love or fear (love for me, perhaps for his own brother and parents... or fear that he might not be able to find Nana on the Other Side, or even their next lives).

When the Allfather announced what he was planning... I did not see it coming. It was aberrant, I rejected the mere thought of it. Forgetting my mother?! Impossible! And yet... and yet it was the only way for Papa to survive, I knew that, and so I let it happen. I refused to forget her myself though. Same as Uncle Erynion and everyone else in Alfheim did.

Things got better for a while, or at least they seemed to. Papa seemed to have good days and bad, and it seemed like it might all be fine, eventually... until I noticed the constant in Papa's bad days: it was me. Because I was my mother's daughter as much as I was his. Just seeing me was enough to tug at his memories, and while they were truly blocked, just the tugging was enough to put him off. It was painful to watch.

Eventually I had to accept the truth, that Papa wouldn't truly get better as long as I was there. So I made my bags and left. Left back to the world of the dead. I knew it was where I needed to be. The realm hadn't had a real guardian since the loss of the Olympians (also, a part of me hoped that being there would allow me to see my love every so often, even if we didn't coincide). I didn't feel like Helena anymore though, Helena Lokidottir had been a princess of Alfheim and Asgard, a goddess of beauty, the light of her parents' eyes... I wasn't that, not anymore, and it wasn't even about my scars, or the lack of light in Helheim, I just didn't feel like that anymore. And so I became Hel, Lady of Helheim, Queen of the Dead, Goddess of Grief... and Hope, because even in death hope is never truly lost.

**xXx**

I never did sing. Nana was the example of a perfect voice, of beautiful songs, I remembered the way everyone would turn her way when she sang, the way birds would fly around her and the way the world itself seemed to stop and listen. There was magic in her voice, and even those without any of their own could feel it, could sense the emotion that soaked every word, every note. With her gone all I had left was emptiness, and grief, and the memory of the last song she'd sung, and the piece my own father had sung in her funeral... I knew that if I were to even try and sing all that would come out would be pain, and there was already enough pain in the world(s) to add my own to it.

Even then, with the life I'd lead up to that point, I just needed music in my life, and since singing was out, I decided playing an instrument was an option. I chose the violin. It was a beautiful instrument, capable of producing the most uplifting melodies, as well as the saddest ones, it suited me perfectly.

I did get to see Stephanos, more than once even, through the years (the centuries) I spent as ruler and guardian of Helheim. The first time he even stayed long enough I managed to explain how I'd ended there in the first place. He was very understanding, both of the pain I was in, and of the fact that I wouldn't be following him through reincarnations anymore. At least we knew we'd be meeting every so often. And who knew? Perhaps one day things would change and we'd get the chance to truly be together again?

When things changed I knew almost instantly. Certainly long before the war, before whispers began about a young woman with hazel eyes saving people's lives, healing them. A volunteer, the whispers said, working as a nurse in the front. Anyone would have known at that point that something was definitely going on. Healing is a very complex form of magic, and aside from some especially gifted individuals, it's near impossible to do. Even most forms of magic either only do very basic healing, or it comes with quite a number of strings attached. That's why having such a gift, such a blessing, was considered very special. In my existence I'd known of three people capable of such blessed healing: the goddess Eir, Grandma Frigg, and Nana... and from those three Nana was the most gifted (and it wasn't just me saying that).

Even before that, I'd sensed Papa's energy, the fact that there were two sources of it. It'd actually been quite a shock at the time, and for the longest time I'd no idea how it had happened exactly (the what was obvious actually, time-travel, the how was trickier). It still somehow took me longer to process the fact that he wasn't alone.

I very rarely took interest in the living (unless they were my family or connected to them), but when I happened to wander through that prisoner camp/experiment lab... something drew me to him, the young man laying on a slab; he was more dead than alive and yet he kept fighting to survive, I'd only rarely seen such strength of will and couldn't help but admire it, admire him, so I gave him a choice. I was also the first (and for a time the only) person who knew the fall from that train hadn't killed him (I would also eventually nudge his soulmate in the right direction).

The moment my little sister was born, I knew it. It would have been impossible not to, as I'd imprinted a part of me on her centuries prior. It was something that had haunted me for a very long time. As the first time I was in Helheim I was on the edge of death herself, and thus did not get to see Nana, or Meril, and by the time I returned I couldn't find them. It actually did not surprise me, not seeing Meril, a part of me had expected it actually, it was unlikely Nana would be letting go of her, dead or alive. But the fact that I couldn't find Nana either... and I hadn't the slightest idea of how to find her eventual reincarnation (because I knew there was just no way she'd crossed to the Other Side without Papa).

Seeing Nana again... it was like a dream wrapped in a nightmare, because no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't go to her. Not because I didn't love her (because I did), or because I thought they wouldn't understand (because I knew they would, eventually), but because already the two of them together were causing ripples, their power and their bond... if I got too close to them... It was too dangerous, and I had a suspicion that Asgard did not know they'd time-traveled (except perhaps Grandma), and they couldn't find out, not when we were still at a time when the Allfather would refuse to accept the kind of bond my parents shared.

So I stayed at a distance, watching them all from the shadows. I kept an eye on them all though, especially my little sister, Rose... I had been waiting so long for her...

I was there when she rushed into a burning building to save the life of a little girl, could only watch in awe as the mark of death already on the child's soul was erased almost completely. Rose might not have known it, but that was the first time she changed fate.

It pained me sometimes, not being able to help, especially when my family suffered. Like when Anya Willow died. She... my adopted sister, she was as much my sister as Rose... she passed through my realm, giving me a hug, a kiss and expressing all her love, before moving on, her husband waiting for her in the mists of my realm. She told me she'd no plans on crossing over just yet, I supposed she might want to wait for the rest of the family to join her, wondered if she knew just how long she'd be waiting. In the end, it was her choice.

Peter's death was painful, not for myself, but watching my sister fall into pieces, and with Mama and Papa gone and unable to help... Rose was alone, and I knew that even if I were to take the risk and reveal myself, what did I have to offer? I had never been in her position, never felt what she was feeling, not really. So I stayed away, and prayed that some miracle might occur. I actually sensed the moment the twins were reborn, two souls returning to the world of the living, but they were not just any souls, because one of them (unknowingly) was bound to my little sister, to one of the people I loved most in the world. I knew they'd find each other one day, and then they'd be together, be happy... I hoped that day would come soon.

I knew when Mama was born, though that one was mostly because I sensed a sort-of tightening of the family bonds we shared. I didn't really have a bond with the version of my parents that had time-traveled; they existed outside of time, and would until the overlap ended. Still, I'd known the moment was coming, what I never expected was just how young she actually was. When she met Papa, and when he first came to me, telling me he had a friend... one he called Nightingale...

When I learned she was dying... it was almost one shock too many. I knew she couldn't die, she was alive in the future (and in the past)! So when Papa began talking about creating some strange object from a fiction novel that might help save her, I was all for it. I had no idea how he would do it, but I believed it had to work, failure simply wasn't an option.

Seeing Papa since Nana's death and the loss of his memories of her was almost painful. He wasn't the man I remembered; the accomplished sorcerer, the proud prince, the loving husband, caring father... he was but pieces of who he'd once been, jagged pieces that would at times scrap against each other, causing pain to him (and sometimes to others); and the worst part was that there was nothing I could do about it. Things got better after he met Nightingale, much better, but I could see there was something missing, the bond with them was still frayed.

I will never know how the two of them knew the Ancient Vows, with Papa's loss of memories it should have been impossible. Yet somehow it happened. They knew the words, and pronounced them, and while they still weren't quite the parents I knew, it was so close I could almost weep in joy! I had my Mama! She might call herself my step-mother and might have reassured me time and again that she'd never try to take the place of my real mom (huh?), but she loved me as dearly as she ever had, it made no difference if she'd given birth to me or thought someone else had. It was, in many ways, more than I could have ever dreamed of.

And then they remembered...

I will never forget that moment, I was still processing the joy at knowing I had a home, that I had a room that was just mine, that Mama and Papa had fixed for me, even without knowing for sure if I'd ever be able to sleep in it. I was their daughter, and thus I had a room in their home. And then there was Hakon, whom I remembered from the time-traveling group, but that one had been more grown than the little boy my parents (our parents) had introduced me to, my little brother. My mind was still processing all of that, all the ways (wonderful, amazing, beautiful ways) things had changed, when Mama rushed into the music room, where I was with Hakon, and said three words that put my whole world upside down:

She said: _"Helena?"_ and _"Cala amin (my light)?"_ and I felt like I was drowning and flying and dying and being reborn all at the same time. I had my Nana back!

In that moment I was sure everything was perfect, that nothing in the universe could ever better. (Well, some things would undoubtedly get better when the overlap ended and I could spend some time with my beloved little sister in person... rather than talking in dreams as we'd done once or twice). As I eventually found out, I'd no idea...

When Donna Strange arrived to my domain (this actually happened years before I got my parents back, a year or two before he found her) it took me completely by surprise. I'd been there, years earlier, when she was sick. I actually stood guard, on a corner of the room, waiting... for someone to discover what was wrong with her, for the doctors to act, for her body to either heal or give up on her. I waited, knowing there was nothing I could do to help her, but ready to at least make her passing as easy as possible, if she did lose that particular battle. And then Stephen knew what was wrong, and the doctors treated her, and Donna was so strong... and I could only smile at the family that surrounded the latest incarnation of my match and how much they loved him.

I wasn't expecting at all to find a teen-aged Donna dropping into my realm just a few years later, still dressed in jeans, boots and a colorful top. I felt it just seconds later, the pain and grief coming from my match. Even though we hadn't said the Ancient Vows in several lifetimes, my living in a realm that existed outside of 'normal' time had allowed pieces of our old bonds to endure. I wasn't sure how much or how well he felt me (though even if he did, he probably didn't understand it), I certainly sensed whatever strong emotions hit him. No emotion had ever been stronger in him than the pain and grief he felt when he learned his little sister had just died.

Donna actually caught me looking into a water mirror days later, looking into her family (it was probably a remnant of the power I'd once had as a Naiad, the ability to use water pools to look into other people, other worlds). Donna was still there, she was one of those who refused to move on to the Other Side, and the circumstances weren't right to allow her to be reincarnated just yet (sometimes it took a while). Perhaps the odd part was that she didn't take to wandering the realm, like most in her situation did, instead she hung around my halls (I wonder if a part of her had sensed the connection even before she saw proof of it...).

"You know him, don't you?" She asked quite suddenly. "Somehow you know my brother?" Her brow furrowed. "But I don't understand how."

Donna was a beautiful girl, somewhat on the petite side, with wavy dark brown hair and gray eyes, she was also very sweet, and I knew she loved her brother dearly.

"I know him..." I didn't see the point in lying to her, or ignoring her words. "Have known him, for countless years, through a great many lifetimes."

"Oh..." Her eyes widened as she looked at me. "You're his soulmate!"

I wasn't sure if that was proof that she was incredibly insightful, or just innocent.

"We are a match, yes." I nodded.

I knew she didn't see any difference, not many would; I had wondered more than once if even Nana did. Nana had spoken of matches, especially due to her own, but I wondered if she realized there were differences. There were those who loved each other so much they might choose to pronounce the Ancient Vows, to become a match, and if their love was strong and their bond solidified enough in that life, the union might carry on to the next, and so on and so forth... and then there was the other kind, the involuntary bonds. My own parents had been one, they'd begun bonding from the moment they first laid eyes on each other, even before they knew what it was they were feeling; something like that meant a preexisting bond, most likely a very strong one in either one or more of their previous lives or... or the possibility that the two of them might have once been one. Like Stephanos and I.

"Oh that's wonderful!" Donna kept saying.

"You really think so?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Yes!" She nodded immediately. "It means you love him, right? And he loves you! It means he won't ever be alone... I don't want my brother to be alone, or sad..."

"I don't want that either." I admitted. "I cannot always be with him, even now I cannot."

"But you will go to him, one day, right?" She pressed, sounding honestly anxious.

"One day." I answered vaguely.

"Yes, you will." I noticed she wasn't asking anymore, as far as she was concerned, it was a done deal (I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad one).

Truth be told, I'd no idea how such a thing could even be done. I'd never actually approached Stephanos in life, not since becoming the ruler of Helheim, our existences were too different. Would I be helping him? I wanted to think so. But what if not? What if I only ended hurting him? I wanted to be with him, but I was terrified of doing anything that might hurt him, it was already bad enough for our time together between one life and the next to be so limited. I could only hope (Hope!) that Donna might be right, that one day we might be together.

**xXx**

I had a bit of a quiet decade; actually, most of the time in Helheim was quiet, some might even describe it as boring. While it had been hard during the first few years, putting the Realm in order and making everyone know and accept that I was in charge, once that period of transition had passed thing had become quite calm. In the end, and while I might be Queen, I didn't really have much to do, other than keep an eye on those that refused to move on, and help those whose deaths were sudden and at times tragic enough that they didn't quite know what to do with themselves.

There were a few events, of course. Like the time I witnessed a young man get a second chance at life on a riverbank, and grasp it with both hands; or the time I was convinced to intervene with a soulless, a clone. And while Rose had been involved (mostly indirectly) with those events, she wasn't the reason I stepped in (especially with the soulless one), no, the reason was one of the Innocent wandering my realm.

The Innocent were the children and the unborn, those who'd passed away too young for their souls to become tainted in any way, they were almost always too bright and full of life, in a way, to cross-over, so they stayed with me. It was one of them who'd spoken in behalf of the soulless child, and those that surrounded him; he convinced me to intervene, and I touched Rose's dreams to let her know, it was the first time we spoke directly (even if we were in the dream-world).

Still, it was after 2011 that things began getting insane. Stephanos's current life: Dr. Stephen Strange was a famous neurosurgeon and I only looked in on him every so often, Rose had taken to wandering the world, creating alliances that would one day confront the threat of Hydra, Hakon himself had infiltrated SHIELD along with the recently awakened Peggy Carter, and they were getting ready to do the same, the young versions of my parents were getting into their own insanity, first separate, and later on together, when Mama finally acknowledge their bond publicly while in New York the following year. The older version of my parents returned from Vanaheim in 2012 too, and after spending a short time in Asia with Rose, and then unexpectedly traveling to Afghanistan, eventually ended in London.

In 2013 I got one great shock. It was early May and when Papa's pain hit me through our family bonds I couldn't help but gasp, my knees folding beneath me as the shock took me over, I hadn't felt pain like that in close to nine centuries!

"My lady?" A voice called as one of the Innocents approached me. "Are you alright? Should I call for one of your handmaidens?"

He was referring to the souls who refused to cross over, or reincarnate, and for whatever the reason chose to stay near me, serving me.

"No, I... I'm alright Edward." I forced myself to take deep breaths.

While some of the Innocents, especially the Unborn ones remained nameless (either because they had never been given a name, or they chose to forsake it), there were a few who felt a strong enough connection to those names, and/or the ones who'd given them such, as to keep them. Edward was one such case. He also had taken to sticking close, especially when he knew I'd be looking in on the Avengers and their families, I knew the reason, of course, but neither of us ever spoke about it).

"Are you sure my lady?" He asked me once more.

"Yes." I nodded, pushing myself to my feet as the pain turned to numbness.

A week later I found Mama wandering through the mists, half gone still.

Mama's death and consequent choice to forsake that death, that rest, to stay at Papa's side brought some unexpected consequences. The most important of all was that I got my family back. Mama called herself my step-mom, and Papa still did not remember the past, but we were closer than we'd been for so long... it was a dream come true.

I began spending less time in Helheim (they didn't really need me much, hadn't for a while, if I was honest with myself) and more time with my family, whether in Asgard or in Midgard. Also, it was a good excuse to stay away from the viewing pools... it almost hurt, looking in on Stephen. Not because of all the women he'd take to his bed, even Christine and their attempt at an actual relationship hadn't really hurt; I knew Stephen did not remember me and he was making a life for himself, and I was alright with that. No, what pained me was seeing his pain, the emptiness he could never fill, and especially the way he allowed fear to rule his life: fear of connections, of love, and especially of failure. Donna wanted me to do something about it, but I couldn't interfere in Stephen's life without cause, it wasn't right!

Nana and Ada recovering their memories in the summer of 2015 brought much joy to all of us, I also began to wonder when exactly they'd be traveling to the past, and how. Hakon was growing fast (relatively) and while my parents didn't exactly age, I had a feeling the time was close.

**xXx**

The first week of January of 2016 found me in my bedroom in Salani mansion. Nana had asked me to look after Hakon for a few hours while she and Papa took care of a little 'errand' for a couple of their friends. We were actually having fun, playing a game where I'd play music and he'd jump, dance and the like around the room, but the moment I stopped he'd to freeze, and he'd to stay completely immobile until I went back to playing, if he moved before he lost. It was a simple, childish game, the kind I hadn't taken part in, in a very long time... I was enjoying it immensely! Hakon was such a sweet child... also, while I wasn't exactly Jotun myself (nor could I change my skin the way he and Papa did), I was immune to his freezing touch, much like Nana, which meant that he could never hurt me, and he knew that.

It was close to dinnertime and I knew it wouldn't be long before Nana and Ada arrived, when the phone rang unexpectedly.

"Hello?" I answered evenly. "Salani-Hvedrungr residence?"

The voice that I heard on the other side of the line belonged to the last person I ever expected:

"Helena...?" It was soft, and while I'd never heard it in real-life, I knew it instantly. "It's Rose. Look, I have to be fast, and there's no time to explain everything right now. In exactly two hours something is going to happen. You need to go the Upper East Side in New York, FDR Drive, just past marker 13. You need to be there Helena, two hours from now. Oh... and you cannot bring Mama into this. Things need to happen, she cannot change any of it."

There was such urgency in her voice... I chose to ignore the fact that she had called the number of a house that wasn't hers yet, of a family that didn't know she existed, because to them she did not exist yet. That she'd known I'd be the one to answer... or the fact that she believed I'd want to involve Mama, and was warning me from doing precisely that, whatever was coming couldn't be good... I had a feeling it could be nothing good.

"Why?" I focused on what I thought had to be the important. "Why then and there? Why me?"

"Stephanos will need you."

I didn't even get the chance to demand explanations or shriek my denial, the call cut off before I could so much as find my breath. Hakon had no empathy, and even then he knew something was very wrong. Nana knew something was off, but she respected me enough to back down when I told her I was just worried about a friend (she obviously didn't believe me, not really, but she wouldn't press either... I knew she'd be there when/if I needed her, though).

That's one night I will probably never forget, however much a part of me might wish it. There was so much pain... grief, despair and sheer terror, there were times I felt like I was drowning...

I was with Stephen through it all, as he lost control of the car, went off the road, crashed and flipped and twisted and eventually slammed into a riverbank. When the rescue services found him and a helicopter transported him to Metro-General, when Christine Palmer and a team of doctors received him and he underwent surgery for eleven hours straight... and through all that followed. Never once did I leave his side. More than once I wanted to call Mama, wanted to ask her to help him, to heal him, but every time I did I remembered Rose's words: 'things need to happen', and I remembered the Allfather's ruling: Mama couldn't interfere with the lives of those not connected to her, especially those who might be meant to die (like what she'd done with Gwen Stacy in 2013). And more importantly, I remembered the ancient laws, the laws of nature: all magic comes with a price, healing most of all. Most of the time that price was extracted from the one benefiting from it, but sometimes it was the healer itself who was most affected, such was Nana's case, I'd seen that first hand.

Also, as became obvious in the weeks and months following the accident, the damage done to Stephen's hands was not the kind of thing Nana could heal. It was one thing to heal the classic injuries of battle, simple and to the point; but what had happened to Stephen was greater in a sense, much more delicate, and devastating. The kind of detailed damage that she couldn't treat effectively, much like Anya Willow's lungs or the neural connections in John's shoulder. So I did not call her, instead I just stood at my love's side, a silent, unseen support.

The next communication from Rose wasn't any less of a surprise. She actually called my cell-phone that time (Nana had gotten me one when I stopped spending time at home, as I chose to stay with Stephen instead).

"I need you to talk to Mama and Papa." Rose told me quietly. "They've been considering going to Kathmandu in Nepal, to check out some rumors about magic in the area. I need you to convince them to go."

"Why?" I honestly didn't understand. "If they're already considering it..."

"Because you need to tell them it's safe." She went on. "That's it's a good vacationing spot, a good place for them to take Hakon."

"Wha...?" I certainly hadn't seen that one coming.

"Please." She insisted. "It's very important."

"And you won't tell me why." I murmured.

She didn't give me an answer, good thing I wasn't expecting one. Still, I trusted her, of course I did, she was my little sister. Two days later I felt my family bonds stretch, twist, bend and almost, but not quite snap. No, instead I felt completely empty for a fraction of a second, before the bonds reasserted themselves, except, as I realized just seconds later, the ones on the other end weren't the same people they'd been before. My parents and my little brother (and Aunt Sif) had just traveled back in time, and upon their leaving my bonds had turned to their older selves. The ones I'd always known were there, but had never before been truly connected to, a bond with Rose also formed for the first time.

I had no idea how they'd traveled back in time, who'd done it, how or why... though one thing was clear: Rose knew. Still, I believed that if she hadn't told me it was for a reason, so I chose not ask.

I also had a brief, though very interesting meeting with two of Nana's and Ada's closest human friends: Phil Coulson and Darcy Lewis-Coulson, and their team. The fact that I was there to deal with Lorelei made the encounter less enjoyable than it would have been otherwise, while I'd long since made my peace with Nana's 'death', seeing the last remaining Enchantress was enough to fan a fire of rage I'd thought long since turned to ash.

Less than six weeks later Hydra revealed itself and the world went nuts.

I wanted to stay by Stephen's side, I really did, but in the end I had to admit to myself that there was really nothing I could do for him, while outside the doors of his flat the world was going crazy. And people were dying, good and bad.

I expected my realm to be a mess, and thankfully I was wrong about that. Between my servants and handmaidens, and the Innocents that seemed to like me, they'd managed to keep things under control. I got there just in time to supervise the Crossing Over of most of those who'd passed away during the recent confrontations. Most of them were heading to purgatory, as they'd been serving darkness, while Edward and some others informed me that a few souls had actually bypassed Helheim entirely, either being so at peace they needed no help to pass on, or having been chosen to spend eternity in Valhalla (a reward so rare I didn't think more than a handful of humans had been granted it in all of time).

After everything was back to normal I headed straight to Asgard, where I met with my family. They were talking about recent events, and the time-travel was mentioned. I even went as far as confessing that I'd been the one to convince them to go to Kathmandu (though, to be fair, before that day I didn't know they had forgotten that far back). I didn't tell them Rose was the one to ask me to get them there. That wasn't my secret to tell.

I stayed close to my parents for a few days, even ended accompanying them to a cemetery of all places where a most interesting reunion took place. Though eventually I was back in New York and silently and invisibly watching over my match.

It wasn't easy... in fact it was downright torturing, watching as he lost himself in despair, little by little. As he used up all almost all the money in his bank accounts (in all but one, the one that held his inheritance... small as it was, compared to his original fortune), as he sold practically all he had: all but his more casual clothes, the watch Christine had given him for his birthday, and the puzzle box he'd had made for Donna (and which he could never give her). The doctors has been able to take care of the chronic pain that had originally ailed him, making it so he only hurt if he forced his hands too much or moved them wrong somehow; but nothing that had been done had been able to eliminate the splotchy sensation in some parts, the numbness that would hit him every so often, and more importantly: the permanent shaking.

I refused to really admit it, even in my own head, but I was terrified. That the dark hole of despair would one day swallow him hole, that he'd chose to give up completely. And while some might think that would mean seeing him again... suicide left a stain in the soul that nothing could fully erase. It was one thing to let go after the other half was gone; some might say that by that point one was already dead, so it wasn't really suicide, but suiciding... there was a darkness in the act, much as murder against another, that stained the soul, harsh and deep.

Except I was wrong, he did not drown in despair, instead he reached out and grasped with quite unbelievable tenacity to the last lifeboat he could find.

Stephen's sudden visit to Johnathan Pangborn and his subsequent decision to sell his flat and go to Kathmandu caught me completely by surprise. The worst part? I couldn't even go into Kamar-Taj. There was so much magic there I wouldn't have been able to stay in hiding, and even with magic being involved, I still couldn't find a way to justify my dropping into Stephen's life (at least not to the Allfather, for me his being my match would have been more than enough reason).

I didn't see him for four months and then... and then it was all a mess. I knew about the Mystic Arts, of course I did, they were but one of the magical orders sprinkled among humanity. Not quite like most, which depended on bloodlines, but still quite skillful, and more spread out than any specific coven or Circle I knew. I knew about the Sanctums, though I'd never set foot inside any of them, for the same reason I did not go into Kamar-Taj. The place, while fully in the realm of the living, was so charged with magic I couldn't hide while inside; also, the people living there could easily tell I didn't belong, not only in the building, but in the world, I was un-tethered, close to a spirit but not quite (because I still had a body and life). I was a conundrum for them, the closest to an impossibility they would ever find, so I stayed away.

And yet... it was hard to stay away when one of those Sanctums had just been practically blown up to kingdom come. The death toll was such it almost made me sick... even being who I am.

I knew things must be getting messy in Helheim, but a part of me needed to understand what was going on, so I decided to find out myself. I used magic to change my usual attire into modern human clothing: a dark-green v-necked blouse, dark slacks, boots and almost as an afterthought, an ivory long coat (in deference of the chilly weather... it was January after all). I recognized the man in the dark three-piece tailored suit holding an umbrella and approached him instantly.

"I want to know what the hell happened here and I want to know yesterday!" He demanded hotly over his phone, before turning to the woman by his side, his voice softening considerably as he spoke to her. "Get Sherlock and John here, they might be able to find out something..."

"I'm afraid this one might be a bit too out of their depth, even for a team as great as the two consulting

detectives." I murmured politely as I approached.

"Who are you?" The man in the suit demanded.

I did not miss the way the woman reached for something hidden in her coat pocket, most likely a handgun (I could read the training in her body, and the protectiveness in her emotions).

"I assure you ma'am, you will not need that." I nodded in the direction of her hand, before turning to the man again. "My name is Helena Hvedrungr."

"Hvedrungr..." The woman breathed out in half-hidden shock.

"You're Serrure's and Arianna's daughter." The man finished for.

"Their eldest." I clarified.

"You know what happened here." He said next, it wasn't really a question.

"I can make an educated guess." I answered calmly. "Tell me, Mr. Holmes, how much do you know about magic?" He arched a brow, but did not proceed to immediate denial, which was good. "This place was a sanctuary for a group that specializes in one of many kinds of magic that are practiced in this world." I went on, being just vague enough not to give up any secrets. "I know not who orchestrated this attack, but the fact that they managed to do this much damage... it's not good." It was then something else occurred to me and it made me nervous. "I need to go."

"Why?" The woman demanded instantly. "Where?"

"This isn't the only such sanctuary." I answered simply. "An attack like this..."

"You think this wasn't an isolated incident." Mr. Holmes finished for me.

"I need to go." I said simply, looking over my shoulder one last time before I went. "I'd suggest you keep your people, and any civilians, as far from this place as you can. Even with this kind of destruction... there's no telling what might happen next."

"Will you tell me when this matter is resolved?" He wanted to know.

"I will tell you when we've won." I quipped, before vanishing into the Shadow Plane.

To be fair, if we lost, he wouldn't need me to tell him, it would be obvious enough.

**xXx**

I wanted to go looking for Stephen, even into Kamar-Taj if necessary, I really did... but I had a duty, one that could not be ignored. So I took the Shadow Paths to Helheim. Once again my people had things under control for the most part. As I joined them in helping the newly deceased I began learning what was going on exactly: a Sorcerer called Kaecilius had apparently rebelled against the teachings of the Ancient One and deserted from the Order, a number of others had followed him, his zealots. The real trouble? They all worshiped Dormammu and intended to open the way for him into our world. It was insane!

I knew who Dormammu was, of course I did! In fact, from all the people in existence in all the world there were few who stood a chance at knowing more about that entity than I did... after all, I'd been just like It once...

It was the last member of the oldest race in all of reality. The last of the Old Gods, the 'Destroyers of Worlds' the Old Titans... so many other racers had come since, that hardly anyone remembered about the first, and even those who did know... it was considered nothing more than myth, even more so than any of the classical pantheons. When most of us had grown tired of exiting beyond all creation, and thus had chosen to become, first Celestials, and then something else (not all of us, of course, some had chosen to end their existence at that point), Dormammu had never changed, had refused to adapt. And so It was all that remained in the Timeless Abyss, what some magic-users called the Dark Dimension, what was beyond all creation. And It, of course, wanted to swallow our dimension, destroy it, since It could never be a part of it (by Its own choice).

In any case, that explained what had happened in London. The Sanctums by simply standing created a magical shield that protected our world... if they fell so would the shield.

My suspicions were confirmed when Master Daniel Drumm, from the New York Sanctum joined us. He was the only one though, as he'd managed to evacuate the Sanctum beforehand... what neither him nor I were expecting, was when the Sanctum itself did not fall. It was empty, weakened terribly, but it was still standing... And then I went to the closest viewing pool and searched for its defender... I nearly dropped to my knees in shock: it was Stephen... no, not Stephen, not Dr. Strange... it was Stephanos... in that moment he looked so much like the man I'd known and loved through hundreds upon thousands of years, countless lifetimes... his eyes, the dazzling mix of green, blue and gold were almost glowing as they reflected the sparks of magic he conjured. He was dressed in a dark-brown and midnight-blue tunic, and upon his shoulders... Yet another shock I got as I recognized the cloak he was wearing. The same I'd once commissioned as a favor to my match, a kingly-gift for a young king... or to-be king.

It also appeared that the shocks weren't over just yet, as a woman found herself before me not an hour later. Her head was devoid of hair, her skin wrinkled and her eyes covered by shadows of more than just age... yet I still knew who it was exactly that stood before me, another old friend...

"Hello Gwenhwyfar..." I greeted her with a very small but respectful vow of my head. "Or would you rather I call you Ancient One?"

She looked at me with a questioning expression for several seconds before a light of recognition shone in her eyes and she was bowing deeply to me.

"My Lady Nimue." She murmured quietly. "It is a great surprise to find you here."

"I know." I nodded. "But I'm no longer the Lady of the Lake, I haven't been for a very long time. I am now Helena Lokidottir, Queen of the Dead... I am the guardian of this realm." I cocked my head to a side. "But you, you still are the same, are you not? Your Majesty?"

"No." She shook her head vehemently. "No, no Majesty. I haven't been a Queen for centuries, I'm not even sure I'm Gwenhwyfar anymore. I'm not sure the young, idealistic, wild princess I once was would recognize me, where I to come face to face with her. I'm quite sure Arthur wouldn't..."

"Oh Gwen..." I couldn't stop the compassion from filling my voice (compassion but never, ever, pity). "You are who you are, who you've always been, nothing more and nothing less. All the good you've done as the Ancient One is as important as the good you did once as Guinevere..."

"And what about all the bad?" She almost hissed, though I could tell there was more grief than anger in her voice. "What about this?"

She reached for her forehead, only to find it blank. I did not need to be a seer to know she was looking for the mark of what she'd been doing, the manner in which she'd managed to stay alive for close to 1500 years... she was looking for a stain on her soul, yet there was none.

"The darkness you may have subjected your body to, in order to endure through time, to fulfill your duties as the Sorceress Supreme... it's not on your soul." I explained to her. "You're free now Gwen. Free of the darkness, of its energy and its weight."

"But..." There was a mix of shock, confusion and wonder coming from her. "The price... All magic comes with a price. I still have to pay mine."

"No you don't." I shook my head. "You've paid it already, have been paying it all along. Gwen... you better than many understand the toll it takes on one's heart, mind and soul, to be separated from your match. Yet you endured that, in order to keep this world safe, to make sure the Order would endure, would thrive..." I smiled at her kindly. "Now it's time for you to rest, to finally join the one who, even after all this centuries, is still waiting for you."

"He..." Her voice broke up, disbelief ringing all around her.

I just smiled turning to a side and the approaching tall figure. I bowed my head once respectfully before taking my leave. Those two (more than anyone else) deserved their privacy for their long-awaited reunion... I was sure that once they were ready they could find their way to the Other Side on their own, or have one of my handmaidens show them.

By that point I'd become too worried about my own match to ignore it anymore. So I slipped into the Shadow Plane and, forsaking all pretenses, followed our ancient bond straight to him. I found him in Hong Kong, laying on the ground, Mordo and Wong at his side, Kaecilius and his zealots behind him, time completely frozen around them all... and in the distance, Dormammu and his 'Dark Dimension'. The final battle had already begun and by most people's estimations, we were about to lose... or had already lost. My match refused to surrender.

Following him into the void was instinctive (and insane, but I wasn't willing to let him go alone).

I didn't realize what my match was going to do until it was already too late to stop him, and while that might have been a good thing for the world... it certainly wasn't for us. It was the worst kind of torture, standing silent and unseen in the Shadow Plane, watching him die again and again... and I had to stay there, because if I had manifested myself in the Dimension, if Dormammu had seen me... It quite probably would have seen our connection, would have been able to guess who we were (or at least what we'd once been) and then It would have never surrendered, and even together Stephanos and I simply weren't enough to truly defeat It (all Old Gods had been equals to one another, no superiors).

I got a fraction of a second, the instant between death and life, between the end of one loop and the beginning of the next, when he'd be suddenly standing next to me, dead and not-dead at the same time. Some times I was sure he could even see me, but the moment was over so soon...

Eventually it was over. 413 deaths, that's how long it took for Dormammu to admit that my match would never give up. It wasn't exactly a victory, and certainly not without a cost. But in the end Kaecilius and his zealots were gone, Dormammu was bound to Its oath never to attack Earth again (sometimes one had to love the fact that having the slightest bit of magic made a being's oath absolutely binding).

It should have ended there. In an ideal world the battle would have ended and, with victory achieved, that would have been the end of it. But since we lived in reality and not a fairy-tale, of course the battle was just the beginning. Karl Mordo defected from the Order, for reasons I failed to fully grasp, Stephen Strange took his place as Master of the NY Sanctum, while the rest of their Order focused on rebuilding in London, keeping the world safe, even without a Supreme Sorcerer to lead and guide them.

I dropped by London briefly to meet with Mycroft Holmes and give him an abridged version of events. Thankfully he knew better than to demand any more information than I was already giving him. He also seemed to trust me and I wondered if it was just because I had information he needed, or if my parents' identity really influenced things that much.

I stayed in New York for the most part. I had my own bedroom in the floor Tony Stark had fitted for my parents in Avengers Tower (as did my younger siblings), and they'd all since grown used to not asking questions about my coming and goings (though I had a feeling that they mostly assumed I kept going to Helheim, rather than Greenwich Village).

I hung around, but I didn't really go into the Sanctum, it wasn't a good idea. While the place was still low enough on energy and there were few enough sorcerers that I wasn't really noticed as long as I stayed in the Shadow Plane (or the Mirror Dimension, as they chose to call the part of the Plane that belonged to Earth)... though there was one exception, the relics, or at least some of them, they could sense me. Particularly the Cloak of Levitation (Levi, as Stephen called her), I had a feeling she might even be able to sense who I was exactly... or had once been.

Even then I could see he wasn't well. The shadows beneath his eyes, and in them as well, he was more than just physically exhausted. I wondered if others could tell. It was frustrating, not being able to do anything, but I didn't really belong in the current time and place; there were very specific ways in which I could be allowed (made to) belong, and they were all up to him... of course I couldn't even interfere to tell him that, so the whole idea was an exercise in futility as far as I was concerned.

I got careless, I could admit to that much. I'd been able to sense the moment Stephen began sleeping again, with some help from psychic shields, special teas and even some medication in order to be able to sleep without dreaming. After two weeks he wasn't really in top shape, but at least when I managed to catch a glimpse of him he no longer looked like he was about to have a breakdown... or worse. I thought it was safe enough for me to take off for a few days, check how things were in Helheim, I also wanted to drop by Asgard to research the laws regarding our intervention in human's lives. I knew my parents' case had been a bit touch-and-go at first (pretty much why Ada had concealed Nana's existence until after they were already bonded and it was too late for anyone to try and take offense to it), and while the world at large knew they existed, they only really interacted with those involved with the protection of the Realm. I needed to find a way to get involved in Stephen's life (need, because 'want' just wasn't a strong enough word anymore) without breaking the law. I had a feeling that using the fact that he was my match as an excuse wouldn't be enough, not even with all the precedent.

I was still buried in books when Grandma unexpectedly arrived.

"Grandmother?" I asked softly, confused by her arrival.

"Oh my sweet child..." She whispered, placing a soft kiss on my brow. "You search for answers you need not find. You have found your match, and likewise it has found you, and things will be as they were always meant to be. Trust your bond, little light..."

Little light... she hadn't called me that since I was a child... and then I caught up with the rest. I didn't ask how she knew about Stephanos at all. Not even with my mother had I talked about him! At least not in any specific terms, though I was sure enough had been implied for her to get at least an idea of what was going on.

"Go now child." She told me suddenly, taking the book from my hands. "The crown needs the light." When I failed to move instantly she added more strongly: "Go."

I wasn't even fully conscious of my motions but in a matter of seconds I was in my parents' private gardens, and then from one second to the next I was dropping into the Shadow Plane (the part that touched Yggdrassil and the connection between realms). It was until I was standing, unseen, in the middle of NY, a step away from dropping into the real world that I fully realized what I was doing... I also realized something else: my match wasn't in the real world!

It was insane. In the real world it was easy enough to track him down, feel his soul. In the Shadow Plane... it should have been easier, and I could indeed feel his spirit, but it was stretched, also, the battles he'd been involved in while in the Mirror Dimension meant that traces of his energy had been imprinted in several places, making it harder to track him. Our bond let me know he was close, but not the exact location, it had been too long since we'd last pronounced the Ancient Vows for me to be able to simply call on the silver cord and follow it to him, the way I knew Ada and Nana sometimes did with each other.

So I searched for him... and either I was losing abilities, or Stephanos and I just somehow kept missing each other! I was beginning to truly get stressed out when I decided to take a break. I purposefully went to the NY Sanctum, straight to the attic, where I knew my love spent most time. Though I stayed in the Shadow Plane I made sure my cloak was fully closed and my hood up, just in case. I was standing there, looking out through the huge window and wondering where my match might be, when a loud creak came from behind me.

I twisted around automatically, mouth dropping open in shock at the realization that Stephen Strange was standing there, right then, and I'd managed to somehow miss his approach! I was so lost in my own thoughts I hadn't sensed him! A wordless exclamation left my lips before I could stop myself, and for a moment I knew not what to do. Should I go? Should I stay?

He looked beyond exhausted again, and that hit me hard. I could tell he was getting closer, yet for some reason I couldn't move, I did nothing except stand there, ever so slowly getting lost in his eyes, that vibrant mix of green, blue and gold. I became aware of him and his closeness all over again the moment his fingers brushed mine, it was barely a graze, the barest hint of a touch, yet that was enough to make me feel like lightning had just hit me. All of a sudden I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, I couldn't even wonder if my heart was beating at all... and then he was gone.

It happened so abruptly I wasn't sure he even noticed it, the moment he stepped onto my shadow and his foot went straight through it, through the edge of the dimension we stood on, and back into the real world. I didn't think so. His knees hit the ground suddenly and hard enough I almost thought I could feel the pain myself. The shock of our half-touch finally beginning to wear off.

My mind was almost short-circuiting, as I considered all the possibilities, all my choices in but a fraction of a second. Then it was out of my hand. A young woman who looked like she might be of Japanese descent rushed up the stairs and straight to my love's side.

"Doctor Strange!" She practically shrieked the moment she saw him.

She was terrified, not of him, but for him. How long had he been missing? How much had I missed while doing my duty in Helheim and getting myself lost in the libraries of Asgard?

I didn't get the chance to contemplate anymore for, right as my match finally lost consciousness, I found myself half-lost in what was probably the most insane vision ever:

_Creatures, other than human (more than human) I was among them and I felt complete... It took a few seconds for my mind to kick into gear and process things, combining what I was seeing with the things I already knew. The creatures were the Old Gods, of which I'd once been one (or part of one). Then things had changed, but that was alright because I wasn't alone, there were two of us, a perfect match, and as long as we were together nothing could ever be that hard, that bad... Then came everything else: a thousand faces, a thousand places, times, lives, between joy and grief, success and failure, victory and defeat, life and death. A thousand lifetimes walking the worlds, the universe, side by side._

_War, there was always war all around me, around us, I... we grew tired of it, and especially, we grew tired of us losing each other to it. All we wanted was one lifetime where we could be happy, where we could be together and not fear that any moment something might happen that would rip us out of each other's arms again (old we might have been, in more ways than one, but we somehow had still failed to understand that war is a neverending curse that plagues every world and every race in the universe)._

_One life stood out from them all: the one we'd shared in the 6_ _th_ _century B.C. Where he'd been a wizard, always dressed in blue robes, whom the magics had aged beyond his actual years; while I had been a Lady of the Lake in my off-white dresses. That had been a good life, for as long as it lasted. Even if he'd chosen to devote most of his life to helping a young would-be King... and I'd chosen to help him, had even been the first of my sisters to get involved in human affairs, the first of those who'd one day pass into legend as Nimue..._

_That was the last time we'd really coincided in life. After that I'd become Helena Lokidottir, a daughter, a princess of two realms, a sorceress... I went through so much, good and bad, and the next time I laid eyes on him I was Queen of the Dead and he was but one among many of the spirits that passed through my new realm. He'd been affected by his recent life, or his death (or both) and then he'd found himself there. I could barely believe it when I saw him; yet I knew it was, indeed, him, and in that moment that was enough._

" _Stephanos..." I called automatically._

_It would take him a while to remember my name, but that was alright too. We had time. Even if I knew that one day he'd have to move on to his next life, and my own expectancy was for several thousand years un-changed... I still believed we could make it._

_So many stories, so many lifetimes, each as unsatisfying as the last; for even though we always got the chance to meet again, it was never enough, and how could it ever be? How could a few seconds, minutes, even days every century or so, ever hope to be enough? Even if we never stopped loving each other, even if I never held whatever he did in any given lifetime against him, it just wasn't enough, for either of us._

_Eventually the vision caught up with his current lifetime, that of Stephen Strange, and the day where everything had changed for him: the day of his accident. I found myself almost trapped inside that memory, sitting in the passenger seat of his ruined car, waiting for the paramedics to arrive. I stayed with him through that, and the helicopter ride, the doctors, the surgery... at times I almost felt like he might actually be able to see me, but the conscious part of my mind knew that wouldn't be possible unless he were dead, and I didn't want him to die; much as I might want to be with him again, I would never wish him dead!_

" _It's not your time yet..." I whispered softly to him, as the doctors around him fought to keep him alive, trying to make him hear me, somehow, without joining me among the dead. "As much as I might miss you, as much as I might love you... No. Not yet Stephanos, and not like this."_

_I stayed by his side through it all, and the parts I happened to miss due to my own duties I ended witnessing later on, when his dreams and nightmares overwhelmed him enough for them to leak through our ages-old bond._

_He even remembered his fight against Dormammu, and somehow, in that moment, he seemed to be aware that I'd been there, and every time he'd died. I heard my own voice, thick in the air with my Celtic accent, one I knew his subconscious would remember, even as I spoke a language that was older than even that:_

" _Oh Stephanos...Oh my love I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry you're in such pain. I wish so much I could help you yet there's nothing I can do, nothing but stand here, silent, watching you, holding you for a fraction of a second, between death and living. My valiant knight... I know this is hard, I know it hurts, but do not give up. Please never give up... Please..."_

_Hearing my voice, even though it brought back the memory of all his deaths, all his suffering, all that I was forced to witness... it also gave me hope. Hope that somewhere deep inside he'd known I was there, known he wasn't alone..._

The visions vanished somewhat more softly than they'd come, and I found myself half kneeling, half sprawled on the ground of the NY Sanctum's attic. I blinked several times, trying to process what had just happened exactly, how long I'd been there... and then a voice I knew well, calling a single word, froze all thought in my head:

"ELAINE!"

I was moving before I was even conscious of it. In less than a minute I was standing right beside my match, in the real world. There I dropped to my knees, my hands immediately reaching for him, I'd almost touched him, when the edge of a conjured weapon touched the side of my neck.

"Don't you dare touch him..." A low, female voice hissed beside me.

I didn't even need to turn to know it was the young sorceress: Sachiko Nishimura. While inside I applauded her desire to protect my match, inside I just needed to hold him.

"Who are you?" My love's friend, Wong, was the next to arrive. "How did you get here?"

"He called for me, so I came." I explained softly. "I will always come to him..."

That seemed to be enough of a shock, as the girl pulled back, giving me the chance to turn just enough to look straight at both sorcerers and push back my cloak.

"You're the one he's calling to..." Sachiko began, only to break off when I revealed myself.

"It's you..." Wong muttered next, and I could have sworn he actually recognized me, somehow, though I didn't really understand how.

"I am Elaine." I finished, for their benefit.

Yes I was, I was Elaine, and he was Stephanos. I had no idea how or why but he knew me, he knew me and he called to me. And I wasn't leaving him ever again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... what do you think? Too insane? 
> 
> For a while now I wanted to find a match for Helena. Then the first trailer for Doctor Strange came out and I thought: he would be awesome! But we had Christine Palmer and I wasn't sure how that would go. Then I watched the movie, and that kiss on the cheek... while I was almost crying with him for the way she left him (and while some might see hope in that kiss, I cannot help but see a goodbye), I was also cheering inside, because she'd just given me a reason to make the pairing I wanted. And so here we are. I hope you're alright with that... 
> 
> Next week we have the aftermath of everything: Stephen, Helena, their reunion, everyone's reactions. And of course we cannot forget Johnathan and Karl... Yep, we've a lot of ground to cover. See ya next week!


	3. The Gift of the Match

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm late again, apologies (I know they seem pointless by now, but what can I say? RL is a bitch, and we all know that). 
> 
> For this chapter I give you warnings for mention of past-tragedy, past death (that of children, nothing graphic, and no characters you know, but still). 
> 
> I'm not sure if the timeline for the bulk of this story has been made clear, but in case it hasn't, here goes: Stephen has his car accident in early January of 2016, that's less than eight weeks before the time-travel, and not quite four months before the HYDRA reveal. Which means that yes, that happens when he's no longer a surgeon; but consider this, at that point Stephen was a former-surgeon with still a lot of money, who refused to give up his old life, who kept doing anything and everything he could to try and get it back... that determination (lets call it stubbornness, why not?) was simply another reason for Hydra to target him.   
> The fight against Dormammu took place on January 2017, yes, exactly a year after the accident (it just seemed right in my head). He spent about six months or so training in the Mystic Arts beforehand (I did all the calculations, enough time to make him still a genius, but not exaggerating... also, there needed to be time when he tried Western methods to heal his hands).   
> The thing in Sokovia (the last chapter of Bouquet of Roses) takes place in late July of 2017... it will be brought up here. And then we'll see how it goes. 
> 
> This chapter is narrated in 3rd Person POV, because it was easier, as simple as that. You will also find Smallville cameos here, they follow things as they were set in "Bouquet of Roses".
> 
> This is the final chapter for this story, and it also marks the end for this phase in the Nightingale series. I'm currently beginning to work on the first AU of the next batch, but it's been a bit slow going, I hope to begin posting that in a month. We'll have four, maybe six AUs before coming back to the main timeline, for the fourth and final phase. My version of the Infinity War! (More on that in the end notes). 
> 
> So, enjoy the chapter please!

**The Gift of the Match**

Love exists, beyond time, beyond space, beyond life and death...

Sometime after a late breakfast (or more like brunch, actually) found a very particular number of individuals meeting in a small sitting room in the NY Sanctum. The focus of attention seemed to be the couple on the love-seat, unabashedly curled into each other. Stephen Strange was wearing what had become his usual attire of brown and blue tunic; Levi floating behind the love-seat in consideration of the couple's choice of staying attached to each other. Helena had taken off her own cloak (which was not sentient), leaving her in a floor-length violet-and-blue gown with long, sheer sleeves and low heels; raven-black hair in a loose, thick braid resting almost carelessly over the opposite shoulder from where she was cuddling into the doctor/sorcerer.

Opposite from the couple, in the remaining couches, sat three sorcerers: Sachiko Nishimura, Wong and Tamara Walker. They were all staring at the couple with mixed feelings, though the only one who looked apparently happy about the unexpected development was the youngest. Sachiko in fact looked almost giddy.

"Who are you?" Tamara Walker, the only one who hadn't been present for the earlier discussion in Stephen's sleeping quarters, asked.

"She's Elaine!" Sachiko almost squealed. "She's Dr. Strange's girlfriend!"

Helena couldn't help herself, she giggled at the young woman's words. Stephen just rolled his eyes, in his mind, his beloved had never been something as... childish, almost plebeian as a 'mere' girlfriend... The word simply wasn't enough to wrap everything Elaine was to him.

"Delighted as I might be for your happiness and support of us, and your desire to protect my Stephanos earlier... you must be careful who you challenge, little one." Helena chided her gently. "Were I anyone else, I could have hurt you for trying to keep me from my match."

"Were you anyone else, you wouldn't be Dr. Strange's match." The girl replied with a hint of seriousness and wisdom that belied her years.

Helena had no response to that.

"You have to admit she's right about that one, cariad(beloved)..." Stephen quipped.

"You called him Stephanos." Tamara insisted. "That's not his name."

"Isn't it?" Helena arched a brow elegantly at her. "Tell me Miss Walker." The other woman actually startled at Helena's knowledge of her name. "What do you know about past lives? About reincarnation? About matches?"

No answer came, whether that was because Tamara knew nothing, refused to confess to her knowledge, or simply had no idea how to respond did not matter.

"So you're a match then?" Wong decided to get to the point.

"For longer than you will ever know, more than you could ever hope to comprehend." Helena answered with an almost wistful smile.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Walker seemed to take offense to that.

"She means no insult, Tamara." Stephen did his best to diffuse the situation. "But she's right. We have been together for so long no human could ever properly comprehend. Ages, in the most literal sense. Longer than our world has existed, even."

They were right, that was something that none of the other sorcerers could really comprehend.

Sachiko didn't even bother to try. As far as she was concerned, those two were soulmates, which meant they loved each other, and would make one another happy. That was enough for her, Dr. Strange deserved to be happy, after everything he'd done and kept doing to help them all. Truth was, Sachiko Nishimura wasn't a fool, or blind, she noticed things. Like the tension between Dr. Strange and the ER doctor who at times helped them: Christine Palmer. She knew that at some point they had to have been more than friends. At some point but no more. She'd also noticed how Stephen had been so interested in dropping by the hospital for the first few months, and then no more. He'd been sad for a while, but eventually got over it. And then his dreams had started. She'd worried about him, about the nightmares that caused him such pain Sachiko couldn't help but feel the backlash all the way from her room, even when she tried not to intrude. She'd been so worried, for what felt like so long... and yet in that moment she felt nothing but contentment and peace coming from Stephen, and that made her very happy indeed.

"If you're his soulmate, why didn't you come before?" Tamara wasn't willing to just accept things.

It was somewhat ironic, for a sorcerer of all people to be considered a skeptic... but then again, Tamara had the proof of the existence of magic at her own fingertips, but soulmates? Not so much, especially considering her own past experiences when it came to love.

"I didn't come because I don't belong here." Helena explained very quietly, looking at no one but Stephen, willing him to understand. "My current life... I'm not from this world. I have slight connections, due to who my parents are, and the people they know. But I'm not from here, and the laws of the universe state I cannot interfere with your lives, with any lives, unless someone pulls me into it all. I've been around, watching over Stephen, and to a lesser degree over the rest of you for a while now, but I couldn't reveal myself, not until now."

"He called to you." Wong realized. "That's why you came. Why you finally revealed yourself."

"Yes." Helena nodded. "He remembered me... somehow..."

"Dormammu." Stephen practically spat the name. "All my deaths... I've been remembering you since then. Remembered our past lives, and even the current one, the fact that you were there all along, even if I couldn't see you at the time. I even created a spell that combined shaping illusions with energy manipulation and some other things to create drawings of you, to try and find you. It's been driving me crazy!" He shook his head ruefully. "Yet it was until I touched your hand that my mind righted itself and I could fully remember. My dreams put it all into perspective and when I woke up... I could think of nothing but you."

"I heard you." Helena answered simply.

"You say you don't belong here." Wong commented, thoughtfully. "Who are you miss?"

"Oh, I do have a legal identity in this world, though I hardly use it." Helena said with a light shrug. "My name is Helena Miriel Salani-Hvedrungr." She made a pause before adding. "I am also Helena Lokidottir..."

"Loki..." Wong began, then broke off as realization hit him.

Sachiko looked like she was about to squeal all over again. Before her was standing a veritable goddess! And not just that, the daughter of the god of mischief and lies! Her favorite Norse god ever! It was amazing!

**xXx**

It wasn't easy. Not everyone believed Helena's story, even with Stephen backing her. Then again, things like past lives, reincarnations and a love that was supposed to have lasted for more years than anyone could successfully count... it was a bit much for most. Sachiko appeared to be an exception, so bright and full of hope and life, and willing to believe that there really was more to the universe than most knew, that true love existed and there was a chance she might one day find her One True Love.

Walker was completely against, while Master Turner claimed there were stories in the libraries in Kamar-Taj that supported Helena's stories. Wong wasn't particularly inclined one way or the other, though he respected Stephen enough to support him anyway. The rest of the Order weren't told all the details, there was really no need. All they knew was that Helena Salani-Hvedrungr was a sorceress of great skill, her magic was different from theirs, but still very strong. Her parents were sorcerers too, traveling and unreachable (only Stephen knew that they were off-planet); and her two younger siblings, while they were each gifted in their own ways, neither of them were sorcerers. Also, she and Stephen were together romantically.

Those at the NY Sanctum soon came to love Helena, her skill, and the way she was willing to help everyone with their training. She was very good at creating shields, which allowed others to train their stronger and more destructive spells with her without risk. She was also good at hand-to-hand, for those who preferred a more physical outlet for their stress. Still, no one quite knew just how strong she was, until one day...

Helena was with Sachiko and two other young sorcerers in the Mirror Dimension, guiding them through the practice of some volatile spells. There had been more of that since her arrival to the Sanctum, as Stephen was no longer the only one who helped the younger sorcerers with such training (other experienced sorcerers, like Tamara Walker refused to do so, believing that young apprentices shouldn't take such risks... Stephen and Helena were of the belief that they would do it anyway, thus it was better if they had someone they could go to for help).

Things were actually going quite well. Sachiko was the one doing the teaching for the most part. Teaching the other two a spell that served to collapse the bent reality back into its original shape. It could be a good way to end a duel like the one Stephen had been involved in, before becoming the Sanctum's Master; though they still had to be careful that the ground they were standing on wasn't part of the 'reality' they were undoing. Helena was there mostly to make sure none of the young sorcerers got another, or themselves, killed.

When the attack came, no one was expecting it. They had known Mordo would quite probably be coming after them sooner or later, of course they'd known. And there had been other attacks before. They'd even discovered that Mordo was capable not only of stealing a specific sorcerer's magic and ability to use it, but he could also render all magics null in a certain area. That was the most dangerous part, because while the sorcerers themselves would get their power back when they moved away from the affected area (and, at least in the Mirror Dimension, the effect passed eventually), lesser magical objects became useless. Such was the case of the sling rings...

When Mordo attacked the two young apprentices were almost knocked out straight away, taken completely by surprise. Sachiko tried to open a portal back into the real world, only to have all magic canceled. So she dropped the useless ring and went to stand in between the rogue sorcerer and her two companions. She had no weapons and hand-to-hand wasn't really her forte, as she was a bit on the small side, barely above five feet (though Helena knew her Mama was actually a full inch shorter). Still, she wasn't about to leave her friends alone...

Mordo stood immobile for several seconds, looking at the girl (Sachiko was, in fact, in her early twenties still, one of the youngest sorcerers in the Order) like he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. Sachiko herself was staring at him, an odd expression in her eyes. Helena knew something was going on, that she was missing something, but in the end she chose to push it aside for the time being, those young ones (they were little more than children in her eyes) were her charges, they were under her protection, and she wouldn't be letting Mordo (or anyone else) hurt them under her watch!

The moment came easy and fluid, almost instinctive in a way, as the delicate-looking golden chain that usually adorned Helena's dominant wrist slipped off it and into her hand; she grasped one end between two fingers before extending her arm and flicking her wrist forward. The chain unrolled in the air, extending magically with her own energy.

The whole thing happened in less than a second, Mordo never saw it coming, the chain slashed at him and he barely managed to move his head enough not to lose an eye to it, he still ended with a deep slash high on his left shoulder. It was then his eyes turned to her, he'd completely dismissed her at first, since she wasn't wearing the kind of tunics the Order did (instead she wore a floor-length blue gown and slippers) and felt nothing like those who used the Mystic Arts... then again, Helena's magic was Asgardian, and thus nothing like theirs.

"Who are you?" Mordo demanded.

"I am Helena Salani-Hvedrungr." The green-eyed woman introduced herself calmly. "Sorceress."

"That's impossible." Mordo stated instantly. "I would know..."

"That I'm not like you doesn't make my magic any less real." Helena stated in tone of lecture.

As if to prove a point she flicked her wrist, slashing the air before her; the chain came nowhere close to Mordo, yet a cut still appeared diagonally on his forest-green upper tunic.

"No!" Sachiko's cry was so sudden it caught everyone by surprise (even herself). "Don't hurt him..." She made a pause before adding. "You know Dr. Strange wouldn't want it."

"Stephen is sometimes kinder than he should." Helena muttered, obviously not agreeing, though she still addressed Mordo. "He still believes you can come back to our side..."

"He should know by now the path I'm now on is not one I can just walk away from." Mordo said stoically, eyeing Helena carefully.

"Like you couldn't walk away from the path you were previously on?" The goddess challenged. "From the Order? From Stephen?"

"You know nothing!" Mordo hissed.

"Maybe I don't, maybe I do." Helena shrugged. "I know Stephen saw you as a mentor, and as a friend. He still does. I know he still believes you to be a good man. Someone whose world view was affected so much... you chose to walk away. He believes that sooner or later you'll realize that you're on the wrong..."

"And what?" Mordo spat. "Go to him on my knees, begging for forgiveness?"

Helena realized something then, something that apparently most had missed, the person Mordo hated the most wasn't the Ancient One, or Stephen, not even the Order in general: it was himself.

"First you would need to ask yourself what it is you must beg forgiveness for." She told him, more kindly than before.

The rogue looked honestly shocked by her words.

"Go now, Karl Mordo." Helena told him serenely. "Today I have enough compassion in my heart to let you go. But know this, if you ever raise either hand, weapon or magic against my match again, or any of those under his and my protection... you will find that compassion turning to anger, and then we will see who gets to walk away."

"You don't scare me lady." Mordo scoffed. "I've fought more battles than you might know, was forced to kill for the first time when I was fifteen."

"If that is true, then I'm very sorry for the child you might have one day been, whose childhood was so viciously snuffed out, but it changes not my own wish to protect me and my own." Helena told him serenely. "And while you might have over two decades of battle experience under your belt... I've been in more wars than history knows of, than you could ever imagine. I am old, Sorcerer, older than you could imagine, older than your Ancient One even."

That one wasn't strictly true, at least not in her current life, but since she remembered every single life she'd had...

For a moment it looked like Mordo might say something else, but in the end he didn't. Helena did not miss the way he turned to look at Sachiko briefly, but soon enough he was gone.

"Now what?" Sachiko asked after almost a full minute in silence.

"Now we get back home." Helena told her calmly.

"My sling ring no longer works." Sachiko reminded her.

"I know." The goddess nodded.

She hadn't planned on revealing her shadow walking just yet. She didn't understand how it was possible, but in between his sudden return, his cry the next morning and her arrival they'd all managed to miss the fact that Stephen had gotten out of the Mirror Dimension without a sling ring... Helena knelt beside the two young people, touching each of them before motioning for Sachiko to do the same.

"This might make you feel a bit sick." She warned the girl. "I'm sorry about that."

And then they were falling through shadows.

**xXx**

It was all over the Sanctum, and even the Order as a whole, in the following days. Mordo's attack, Helena's defense of the young sorcerers, her skill with her weapon-of-choice, and the fact that she could move from the Mirror Dimension to the real world without need of a sling ring (which also brought up the fact that Stephen was capable of the same). Everyone knew, and not because of Sachiko that time, but because it'd have been near impossible the to hide the fact that something had happened when the sorcerers in question had pretty much dropped at Stephen Strange's feet while he was in a meeting with the most experienced sorcerers in his Sanctum (they'd been discussing the energy levels in the place, and thus the shield protecting the world). It hadn't been exactly planned, just instinctive for Helena to use him as focal point when shadow-walking.

However, as interested as many of the elder sorcerers were in the fact that Stephen and Helena could do something many of them believed to be impossible (and to think she hadn't told them about shadow-walking to other worlds, or the facts that both her parents could do it as well!), there was one other thing the majority of them focused on:

"You could have killed him." Yelan Li, Master of the Hong Kong Sanctum stated evenly.

"No, I couldn't have." Helena stated in the same tone.

"I understand your weapon might not be meant primarily for killing." The Chinese woman stated. "But a cut across the neck..."

"You don't understand." Helena interrupted, unable to help herself, then cringed at her own actions. "Yes, the chain can be used in such a way. But I didn't kill him, and I couldn't have."

Finally people began taking notice of her choice of words.

"I made a vow, many, many lifetimes ago." The Goddess of Grief and Hope explained quietly. "To never again end the life of a souled one..."

"Wouldn't it be easier to say no human life?" Someone at random asked.

"No." Stephen intervened. "Because not only humans have souls, there are other beings, both in this world and in others..."

They did not need to go into the soulless, some things were really too much information, especially when they were all having a hard enough time processing things already.

"And I wasn't exactly human myself when I took that vow." Helena added for good measure. "But since I did still have my magic, as that is a part of my soul, the vow was binding. It will be to the end of time."

"But why would you do such a thing?" Mr. Wei, the second in command in Hong Kong asked, sounding honestly confused. "You're a Warrior my lady!"

"Because I was tired of being exactly that." The green-eyed woman admitted. "I was so tired..." She took a deep breath and eventually decided to explain at least some of it. "I've said it before, but I'm not sure if you've all truly grasped it. The fact that I remember more years and more lives than any of you could possibly imagine. Not in all those lives was I human, and a great many of them were spent in other worlds, even before this world existed as it does now."

"And you spent much of that time with Dr. Strange." Sachiko offered.

"Yes." Helena agreed. "Because we're a match, and matches belong together." She shook her head, focusing on the matter at hand. "There was one life, a very, very long time ago... we were at war. Actually we were at war for several lifetimes, would die and reincarnate and some war or another would still be taking place. We tried to stay away, tried to remain neutral, nothing ever worked. That particular lifetime... we made a choice, to get involved, but in our own terms. I wasn't a mother, refused to bring life into a world so darkened by violence and grief. But there were children, mostly orphans, and I took care of them. Everyone there knew we were skilled, but while Stephanos acted as Warrior, as leader of their army, I stood back, I used my power to keep those not fighting safe: the children and the elderly, and the women without training, or who were young mothers, needed by their children's sides." She swallowed the knot in her throat and went on. "We'd made a deal, with the leaders of the rebellion we were aiding, as long as we were with them, as we used our power to help them, they would allow the children to be just that: children, free, innocent..."

Sachiko gasped loudly, as some of the words Helena had said to Mordo became clear to her. And it was obvious, under that light. A world at war... a neverending war, of course the children would need to fight, if only to keep themselves alive; but if one was helping lead them, and the other kept those more vulnerable safe, the kids had a chance...

"You see it, don't you?" Helena asked softly. "We didn't like war, but at least, with such a deal it felt like it was worth it..."

"Something went wrong." Yelan Li murmured, and it was obviously not a question.

"Stephanos and the army were away, doing an operation that, they hoped, would finally give us what we needed to win the war." The goddess went on. "Then someone arrived unexpectedly. A woman, the second wife of our enemy's leader... she'd supposedly betrayed him. I was called to witness the meeting, to try and discern her intentions. I knew instantly it was a ruse. Managed to stop her attempt to assassinate our own leaders. However, just before she died... she said they'd won in the end... I didn't understand it. Not until I went back to the refuge..."

The silence was heavy with tension, almost everyone present had an idea of how that story would end, but no one dare say a word.

"They were dead." Helena finally admitted. "All of them: the elderly, the women, the children... some were still dying... Suffering..." A sound escaped her throat, like the wordless whine of a wounded animal. "I snapped. I followed the tracks left by those who'd committed such heinous sins... They were not expecting me, were not expecting anyone at all to be able to find them, or even consider it. They expected us all to be lost in grief... and I'd been, until that grief turned to anger, to righteous fury. I tracked down, and killed them all..."

She hadn't killed them, she'd slaughtered them. She'd purposefully waited until they were back at camp and killed not just those who'd taken place in the raid, but everyone else in the camp... even their own women and elderly. No children though, she managed to keep herself from answering one sin with another of the same magnitude. Even then, it'd been bad enough.

Stephanos knew, because he was the one to find her. His mission had been a failure, a trap set to get the warriors out of their town. The enemy had succeeded, and at the same time they'd failed. Elaine had taken them all down. The war had ended by the next year, though the price paid... it was simply too high. Once the veil of fury was off she couldn't believe what she'd done, it was so much that the grief eventually did her in, though not before she took her vow: never again would she take the life of a souled one... Stephanos also promised to find a new world for their next life, one with no war, where they might grow in peace, might have a family...

"Is that where you got your scars?" Tamara Walker asked, somewhat bluntly.

There were some sharp intakes of breath, and it looked like Stephen was contemplating murder.

"No." Helena answered, not reacting at all to the comments on her scars, instead she purposefully pulled up her loose sleeve, revealing the fact that there was a lot more of them than what could be seen on one side of her face and neck. "The scars are on my body, not my soul. They also cover little less than 50% of my body. I got them almost nine hundred years ago, while trying to save my mother's life."

Again there were sharp intakes of breath.

"The Enchantress Amora hated Nana, because she thwarted her attempt to use a love-spell on Uncle Thor." The goddess explained somewhat succinctly. "Amora tried to kill my mom several times, and eventually she succeeded. An attack created by an extreme amount of pure magic, it basically burnt Nana from inside, killing both her and my unborn sister. I tried to help her and almost died myself, these scars are a reminder of that day."

"Couldn't you have erased them with your magic?" One of the youngest sorcerers asked quietly.

"At first the priority was to save my life, there was a time when they did not think I would make it." Helena informed him. "Later on... well it wasn't so important, in the grand scheme of things. Living in Helheim... no one cared if I was scarred or not. At some point they also became almost a badge of honor, a sign of what I went through, what I survived, and that I loved Nana so much I was willing to put my life on the line for her."

"What happened to your dad?" Sachiko asked, very softly.

"He went insane for a while." The green-eyed Asgardian admitted softly. "The loss of a match... it is a pain unlike any other. To feel your soul reaching for your other half and not being able to find it, to find anything but a burnt end, an empty space where they'd have been... Most choose to die, and those that cannot do it themselves, for whatever the reason, become self-destructive, seeking their death in whatever way possible." I shook my head at the memory. "Papa did not die, though it was a close thing. In the end the Allfather used a very old spell to make him forget. He was made to forget his loss, though that also made him forget Nana completely... I didn't like it, but it was that or losing him completely."

"You're lying." Another young sorcerer said suddenly. "I've seen the blogs. Loki is married!"

"Yes." Helena nodded calmly. "He's married to Prof. Silbhé Arianna Kinross Salani-Hvedrungr."

"Salani Hvedrungr?!" Sachiko and a few others called in unison.

"She's Nana's reincarnation." I explained with a small smile. "Papa and she found each other a few years ago. Their memories of the past came later on. They also have two other children now: my adopted brother Hakon, and my little sister: Rose... the same sister I lost once before."

No one had really any idea what to say to any of that, and they never got the chance either. Something had just occurred to Helena, who couldn't believe she hadn't thought of it before. She went to Stephen immediately, speaking quietly enough so only he could hear her.

"I don't know why I didn't think of this before." She said with a burgeoning hope. "You told me about your friend, Johnathan Pangborn."

"Not sure if he'd call himself my friend, but yes." Stephen nodded. "What about him?"

"We need to go see him." She told him simply. "I have a very important question to ask him."

**xXx**

"Excuse me, what?"

Helena, Stephen and Wong were with Dr. Palmer as well as Maureen and Johnathan Pangborn in the private hospital room of the latter. The man was actually supposed to be getting discharged that same afternoon, as it had been determined (much like the first time) that there was nothing that could be done for him. Christine had made arrangements for transport to pick him up and get him home, free of charge, something the Pangborns had been very grateful about. Of course, none of them expected the sorcerers' sudden arrival, or Helena's question.

"I asked if you'd rather have your magic back, or be able to walk again." Helena repeated. "Think about this very carefully before giving me your answer Mr. Pangborn."

"Who are you miss?" Maureen demanded.

She obviously took offense at some unknown woman giving them false hopes.

"I am Helena Salani-Hvedrungr and while I know how the situation seems, I promise I intend you no harm Mrs. Pangborn, physical or emotional." Helena assured her.

All eyes turned to Stephen, as they trusted him more.

"If she asks, she has a reason." Stephen assured them. "You can trust Helena completely, I most certainly do. She's my fiancé."

That caught everyone by surprise, even Helena, though she didn't show it; also, once she thought it over, it wasn't that shocking. They weren't mere strangers, and other labels like boyfriend-girlfriend, lovers... simply didn't seem to be enough to encompass all they were to each other. At times it seemed like even husband and wife might not be enough, but it was the best they could get (it was moments like that where Helena more or less understood her parents' fixation with their chosen nicknames for each other, and the fact that they were always saying 'My', she certainly saw Stephen as hers... just as much as she was his).

"An injury like mine cannot just be healed Miss Hvedrungr, you should know that as well as I." Johnathan stated, trying his best to stay polite. "I need the magic to be able to walk."

"That is true enough for the Mystic Arts, Mr. Pangborn, and for several other branches of magic. But I practice a different kind." The goddess admitted rather calmly. "And while I myself am no healer... there are many other gifted individuals in this world, more than you could begin to imagine. You must have noticed some of it with the brief civil war of last year, when Hydra revealed itself... Not all gifted ascribe to the same rules and limitations as the Mystic Arts."

"You mean... you mean my husband could actually be healed?" Maureen asked, voice watery with pent-up emotion.

Helena didn't answer her, just looking straight at Johnathan, she was still waiting for an answer.

"I want to walk!" Johnathan finally admitted, almost choking on his own words. "By God! I want to be able to stand up, to hold my wife, to embrace my son again, play basketball with him... I want to be healed..."

Helena smiled beatifically at him, before pulling out her cell-phone and making a call.

"Rose?" She waited for the answer on the other side. "It's Helena... Listen, this is important. I have a friend who needs help, the kind of help people you know can provide... Yes, him... Very well, we shall be waiting."

The moment she hung up all eyes were on her.

"A plane will be sent." She announced. "A helicopter will be picking us up in an hour, taking us to the air-strip, where a private jet will be taking us to where you can get treatment."

"This isn't possible!" Maureen could hardly believe it. "But you hardly said anything!"

"There's nothing any doctors can do, even if Stephen could still do it..." Christine spoke up.

"This isn't a matter of medicine, not even of traditional magic." Helena shrugged. "And I'm afraid that's as much as I can say at this time. These aren't my secrets to tell." She turned to the couple. "As for what you mentioned before, Mrs. Pangborn. The person I just spoke with, is my little sister. She too is gifted, though in a different way than me. One of her gifts is Sight... she knew enough about your husband's situation without me having to say a word. She will also know the kind of help you need, and who can give it. If the plane is being sent already that means that the request has been approved, they'll be waiting for you." Something else occurred to her right then. "There's one more thing, I'm afraid."

"Is this gonna be expensive?" Johnathan asked, fearing the worst.

"What...?" Helena wasn't expecting that. "No! Not at all! Though, as some people are very fond of saying, nothing comes without some kind of price... though this one isn't monetary. Truth is... it's quite likely you won't be able to come back. To New York I mean. Not because they'd stop you in any way, or that you physically couldn't but... Mr. Pangborn, it's in your records now, your situation, the fact that your condition has no cure. If you walk again... you would never be left alone. So it will be better for you not to come back, for your own good, and that of the people willing to help you."

"Of course." Maureen nodded immediately. "There's nothing here that is more important than Johnathan being healthy and whole again."

Christine didn't say a word. Hard as it might be to admit it, she knew Helena was right. The doctor was also still reeling about the revelation that the raven-haired beauty was Stephen's future wife. She hadn't even know she existed before that day. Then again... she could see the looks they kept throwing at each other, the way they kept close and every so often would touch each other for no reason at all... they truly loved each other. So, Stephen had found his perfect match... it gave Christine hope, that one day she might find hers.

The helicopter was there at the agreed upon time, and the plane as well. Two people were waiting for them on the latter. A couple in their early thirties, the woman blonde, the man brunette, they were both wearing dark-blue coveralls.

"Hello." The woman greeted for the both of them. "I'm Alicia Krupp and this is my husband, Cyrus Krupp. We're here to help you."

"What do you do exactly?" Maureen inquired, probably confused by their attire.

"We're part of Veritas." Cyrus informed her evenly. "We're a team, certified paramedics. We're also on call with most rescue crews in Lowell County."

"Rescue crews?" Christine (who'd announced she'd be tagging along, because Johnathan was still her patient and would remain that until she'd personally placed him in the care of another doctor). "Lowell County? Shouldn't you belong to one crew only?"

"If we did normal work we would, yes." Alicia shrugged.

"Ali!" Cyrus exclaimed, tense.

"What?" Alicia looked sideways at her husband. "We're taking them straight to Veritas, and after reading Mr. Pangborns file it's obvious the kind of help he will need. Regardless of what we say or not say right now, they will know a lot of it before the end."

Cyrus had to admit his wife was right. He just wasn't used to working with those outside of what most of the metas still saw as their territory (meaning Smallville, Metropolis and the surrounding area... mostly Lowell County).

"We do not belong to any specific crew, but they call us when they truly need us, because there are some things only we can do." Alicia elaborated.

"I am a healer." Cyrus went on. "My talent is somewhat limited, but when you come across a girl trapped in a car, who runs the risk of bleeding out before the rescuers can get her out... that's where I come in."

"I'm a teleporter." Alicia added. "Which means that I can get Cyrus to those injured, faster than anyone else can. I'm also capable of getting the victims of accidents out when rescue crews have trouble reaching them. I have limits of course, but still."

"We're only called in when we're really needed, when others know we can make a difference between someone living or dying." Cyrus murmured quietly. "It's why we do not belong to any specific crew. We help everyone we can. And when we're not with them, we are at Veritas, aiding others with gifts."

For several seconds not a word was said, as they tried to wrap their heads around it all.

"You're gifted." Maureen finally said. "What...? Like the sorcerers? Or the mutants? I've seen them on the news, the X-Men..."

"Not quite." Cyrus shook his head.

"Some people call us metas." Alicia offered. "We weren't born with these abilities, we were born completely human, like anyone else. Then something happened, a catastrophic event... and it changed something in us..."

"Catastrophic...?" Johnathan asked, worried.

"The kind of event where you only come out in one of two ways: dead or changed." Alicia stated quite bluntly.

No one had words with which to reply to that.

So they got on the plane, which took them straight to the Metropolis airport; where yet another helicopter picked them up and flew them directly to the Veritas building (on the edge of town). There Cyrus and Alicia immediately moved Johnathan onto a gurney (they'd before explained how they didn't try teleporting him because they risked hurting him further).

In the room another person was waiting. A woman who looked to be in her early twenties, with long

mahogany hair in gentle waves to the small of her back, chocolate eyes, wearing a simple maroon wrap dress and red-leather boots.

"Good afternoon." The girl greeted them in general, before approaching Helena and embracing her tightly. "Vedui muintel amin (greetings sister mine)."

"Vedui Merilelle (little rose)." Helena replied, hugging her back just as tightly, before switching to English. "It's so good to see you again, my dear sister."

"I'm delighted as well." Rose made a pause before adding. "I'm so very happy for you Elaine."

The use of that name, instead of the one their Mama had given her, told the elder of the two sisters what exactly the younger was talking about.

"You knew..." Helena realized. "How long?"

"Not as long as you might expect." Rose shrugged. "I only met him a few months ago. In Gwen's funeral. And even then only in passing."

"You were at Gwen's funeral..." Helena realized. "You knew her."

"For a few years." Rose nodded. "We first crossed paths when I was with the X-Men, in the late seventies. Since then we've met every so often, some times on purpose, though most of the time it was a matter of us ending up involved in the same messes."

Like in Egypt. Gwen had been there that day, she was probably the only reason more people hadn't died... though Rose hadn't known that until later.

"I know you." Stephen murmured as he approached them. "You were at the Ancient One's funeral, weren't you?"

"I was." Rose nodded. "I knew her for a few years."

"You're not part of the Order." Stephen added.

"I'm not." Rose agreed with him. "I'm a gifted, but no sorceress." She offered her hand to shake. "I am Rose Alfdis Salani-Hvedrungr... and I believe you're my future brother in law."

Stephen actually blinked in shock for a moment before breaking into laughter.

"You know, I was actually worrying about meeting you." He admitted after a little while.

"Oh, no need to worry about me." Rose waved her hand dismissively before her tone turned wicked and she added. "Worry about meeting Papa. He will enjoy twisting you into knots and explaining, in detail, all the ways he can torture you if you so much as look at Helena wrong. He certainly took great delight in doing so with Johann..."

"From what I've heard you did even worse on him." Helena deadpanned.

Stephen actually felt the need to swallow at that.

"Yeah, but Willow was my twin, and younger than I was." Rose justified herself. "You are older, and I know you're perfectly capable of turning him into a schmuck if he gets any ideas."

A string of giggles interrupted the conversation, Christine just couldn't help herself, she'd never seen Stephen in such a situation and as far as she was concerned it was absolute hilarious.

Of course, eventually they had to get serious. Rose introduced herself to everyone else present and then explained where everything in the room was while Stephen, Helena, Cyrus and Alicia transferred Johnathan to the hospital bed.

Shortly after getting Johnathan installed they were joined by Dr. Emil Hamilton, a tall man with dark, somewhat graying hair in his late thirties to early forties wearing casual clothes with a lab-coat on top. He introduced himself as the physician who'd be overlooking Pangborn's case, make sure he was alright.

"Will you be the one to heal him?" Christine wanted to know.

"I'm afraid not." He shook his head. "I'm completely human, and while a decent doctor, if I do say so myself, I do not have the kind of ability required to give Mr. Pangborn his mobility back. Others will be coming soon to discuss your options."

"Options?" It was obvious neither of the Pangborns were expecting that.

Indeed, there were options, as they soon found out. They were quickly joined by Chloe and Clark Sullivan-Kent, and (to all New Yorker's special surprise) by Trish and Lex Swann-Luthor.

"What...?" Maureen babbled, shocked. "What is going on here?"

They were explained very briefly about Veritas then. Its creation almost a decade earlier, its work, and especially its true purpose.

"Gifted?" Christine repeated, shocked. "You're dedicated to gifted?"

"You would be shocked by the number of gifted you can find in the area." Trish nodded. "It's around a quarter of the general populace in the county, and close to fifty percent in Smallville and Metropolis specifically."

"But..." Maureen couldn't believe it. "What we were told earlier... just what happened here?"

"Meteor shower." Lex answered promptly. "Two of them. One in 1989 and the other in 2005."

"Smallville is known as the meteor-capitol of the world." Chloe piped in. "What less people know is that there were mutagens in meteors in both showers and they changed the population. Well... either that or killed them."

Crude, but right. Truth was that, aside from those who died during the shower itself, everyone who'd been close to the meteors during each shower had either become a meta or died of cancer in the years following the events.

"You're metas." Johnathan realized right then.

"Not me." Trish offered. "I'm not from Smallville."

"The rest of us, yes." Lex added. "And I mean both to the Smallville thing, and the meta thing. And obviously our children have inherited the status. According to our math it will take one more generation before the meta population surpasses fifty percent in the county in general, and two or three more before we become the majority. And that's just considering those of us who were changed by the meteors, there are many other metas, affected by other events, all over the world. We know a few, but certainly not all of them."

"How many people know about you all?" Christine inquired, intrigued.

She knew that the thing with Hydra the year before had revealed the existence of a great number of gifted all around the world, but she still had trouble dealing with the fact that most of them had been around for years and the general population hadn't known.

"In Smallville it's known by everyone." Chloe deadpanned. "Either you're a meta, or someone else in your family is. It cannot be helped. Everyone has been pretty accepting."

Especially since seeing all the ways the gifted could help, just like they had during the second meteor shower, and other events since.

"Here in Metropolis... it's kind of an open-secret." Clark went on. "Everyone knows gifted exist, and what Veritas does. There are people who know about some of us, but it's not as openly seen or talked about as it is in Smallville."

Then again, aside from the semi-frequent messes during Clark and Chloe's high-school career, Smallville didn't see as many conflicts and 'super-villains' as Metropolis had.

Eventually the conversation was put back on track, and then it was time to talk about what exactly Johnathan's options were.

Much as Cyrus himself might want to help, his healing just wasn't enough. Clark had already discussed things with Kara and the Artic's AI but creating something Kryptonian to help would take way too long. That still left two options: Chloe could heal him, her power would undo the damage to his spine, allowing him to feel and walk again; however, due to the seriousness of the wound she'd need to focus her whole power on that, which meant she wouldn't be able to heal the damage to his legs (caused by disuse). It would take a while for him to recover from that and some serious PT. The second option was the Solomon serum (named that in honor of Lex's mom: Lillian Luthor nee-Solomon), created from the mutated cells in Lex's blood which allowed his extreme healing (cells which under normal medical tests, looked like white blood cells, but were something else entirely); the serum would take longer, require several uses, but would heal not just Johnathan's spine, but also the atrophy. That would take a while as well, but it was potentially less painful, and less stressful on Johnathan's body.

Both options were explained to the Pangborns in detail, with pros and cons, then they waited for the couple to make their choice.

"There's one thing I don't understand." Christine said suddenly. "If you have access to such a drug, why had I never heard about it before?"

"It's not exactly... FDA approved." Trish said, somewhat evasively.

They waited several seconds, and then Chloe explained a bit more:

"And we cannot exactly ask for FDA approval when we cannot tell them what's in it." The blonde told them, without quite explaining.

Before Christine or Stephen could get the courage to ask why exactly they couldn't ask for approval someone gave a signal to Dr. Hamilton who, in turn, pulled out a thin file from the pile he kept on a nearby table, offering it to the two doctors (or one doctor and a former doctor).

"Blood analysis?" Stephen inquired, looking it over.

"Oh... but this person must be dying!" Christine exclaimed, as she noticed some things on it.

"I am not." Lex stated stoically.

It actually took several seconds for the New Yorkers to process exactly what had just been said, and who had said it.

"Look onto the last page." He instructed them, then went on. "What looks like an excess of white blood cells is actually something else entirely. It's what changed in me, when the meteors fell in 1989, it gave me my healing factor, one that is much, much higher than almost anyone else on the planet. Scientists wager I can still age and die, though I will probably remain in my prime longer than normal humans; I do not get sick though, and any hurt I get heals extremely fast. You should know, I've survived things no one else could have: my car going off a bridge and into a river at over a eighty miles an hour, a plane crash, being drugged into a mental break down, a bomb, as well as several kidnappings and assassination attempts; and while a good deal of it was thanks to Clark, Chloe and some others... my healing factor had a lot to do with it as well."

No one replied to that, they didn't seem to know quite what to say.

"Some years ago we discovered those cells could be extracted safely." Dr. Hamilton announced. "Filtered and transformed into a serum, safe for human use."

"You could help so many people..." Christine breathed out. "Why...?"

"We cannot get approval." Trish insisted. "The serum cannot be synthesized, it needs those cells. Cells we only know less than a handful of people in the whole world to possess. We are not giving that kind of information to a government organization. They'd never leave us alone!"

No, they wouldn't. Best case scenario, they'd harass them to try and get more of the serum produced; worst case... they might go as far as taking Lex prisoner, draw his blood, keep him fed so they can get more, on and on... He'd become nothing more than a blood bank to them. There was no way any member of the family was allowing that.

It had slipped out that there was more than one person with that gift, but that was all they'd be saying about that. Most would assume they were talking about their children. Truth was that from all of them only Lena had inherited the extreme healing factor (though the twins were certainly very healthy); and there was someone else, a young woman (more than a decade younger than all of them), she wasn't a meta but a mutant, though part of a group who called themselves 'evos'. She lived in Texas, her name was Claire. She knew about Lex, had been in touch with them, as he helped her better understand her own ability, but she was much too young to have been part of the move against Hydra, and 'evos' in general had chosen to stay away from the public eye. It was their choice, and one everyone else respected.

**xXx**

In the end Johnathan chose the serum, deciding that even if it took longer it was safer on his body, and it might even make the recovery from atrophy easier in the long run. He and Maureen were also very interested in working in Veritas, once he was better, though until then they would be moved to the Kent Farm (as everyone believed he'd enjoy his future walks and the like more there than inside a building in the middle of Metropolis). The place was actually often used for such purposes, or at least the main area; most of the land itself was leased to other farmers in Smallville, who worked it and paid with a percentage of their profits (which had increased since they'd all followed Lex's suggestions to create a sort of consortium and sell their produce to Metropolis and other towns in the county and Kansas in general.

Rose didn't stay much longer after that, explaining how the group she was with, the Sentinels, might need her. She was also somewhat concerned that her daughter might get in trouble (again). Helena still made her sister promise to introduce Skye to her soon. The older goddess really wanted to meet the girl in person. Stephen was just fascinated at the prospect of so many gifted people in the world, and the alliance. He'd been shocked enough when learning that Helena's sister was the infamous 'Rose of Chaos' he'd heard so much about; and the fact that she'd known the Ancient One (nevermind that, since recovering the memories of his past lives he remembered who the Supreme Sorceress had been before joining the Order...).

Several weeks later Wong dropped by the NY Sanctum unexpectedly to tell them he'd just gotten an unexpected call from a Skye Nova asking for volunteers to help with a situation that was about to go down in Sokovia.

"Skye...?" It took a moment for Stephen to remember where he'd heard that name before. "Rose's adopted daughter?"

"Yes, she was calling in her name too." Wong nodded. "Warned that the situation was a matter of life and death, for both the people in Novi Grad and whoever might choose to go help."

"We have to send at least a few people." Stephen declared. "If they really need help."

He knew he and Helena were probably the best option... but he couldn't leave the Sanctum or the young sorcerers unprotected, and if something big was really happening, then Helena needed to head to Helheim and keep vigilance over the situation there. Though, who could they possibly send, especially with that warning of how dangerous things were expected to be, for everyone? How when they could be sending them to their deaths?

"Dr. Strange?" It was Sachiko. "I... I would like to volunteer to go to Sokovia."

It was until then that Stephen noticed the three of them weren't alone anymore, not by a long shot.

"Why?" Wong asked, curious.

"Nishimura!" Tamara Walker called to the girl in a chiding tone. "I haven't given you permission to involve yourself in this, young lady."

"With all due respect Miss Walker, I didn't ask for it." Sachiko said, demurely but strongly, before turning all her focus on Stephen again. "Please Dr. Strange, I... this feels right, somehow. Like it's something I must do."

"You are aware of the dangers of this mission?" Stephen asked her, very seriously. "Your return will not be guaranteed Sachiko."

"I know." The Japanese American said simply.

"Go." Stephen nodded, then turned to the rest. "If anyone wishes to join, with the knowledge that this requires volunteers and it will be very dangerous, you have my permission and my blessing!"

He vaguely heard Tamara berating Sachiko even as the girl ignored her teacher completely, she had made her choice; something Stephen respected even if others did not.

"You know this will have consequences?" Helena asked softly.

"I do." Stephen nodded. "But Sachiko is not a child, she deserves to make her own choices, and it's time Tamara accepted that. Also... I'm not sure why, but this feels right somehow."

Helena didn't reply to that, though she could sense it too, a strange something in the air, like a sense of foreboding... except it wasn't negative. Something was coming.

Right before the small group of volunteers (some had even arrived from Kamar-Taj and the other Sanctums) lead by Sachiko took their leave through a portal, Tamara went to Stephen.

"Master Strange..." She began.

"Dr. Strange!" Several voices corrected automatically.

Stephen just smiled. Really, most people did call him by his old title, at his request; it was only a few, like Tamara, who refused to acknowledge that choice and insisted on the more traditional titles, ignoring his preferences completely. Or the reasons behind them.

"You have to stop this madness!" Tamara stated, ignoring the correction.

"Madness...?" Stephen arched an elegant brow at that. "Is it madness for Sachiko and the others to want to help those who need them?"

"It's not our problem!" Tamara snapped. "This isn't a mystical threat!"

"Ah..." Stephen nodded. "I see... I suppose that might also explain why there were no sorcerers lending a hand during the Chitauri invasion in 2012, and the countless other events that have taken place... You believe we should only intervene when it's convenient..."

"It's not a matter of convenience!" She interrupted him. "This isn't a mystical threat, therefore it's not our problem!"

"See, that's where we disagree." The Master of the Sanctum replied, rather calmly. "Because the way I see it, if it threatens our world, then it's very much our business. We're all meant to be the protectors of this planet..."

"And do you think they would be so quick to come to our aid..." She hissed.

"Please!" Stephen snapped. "You cannot be that blind! Or do you really think the chitauri were no threat to us? What about Hydra? When beings threaten our planet, they threaten us all. So why should others be expected to act, and not us?" he shook his head, waving a hand to keep Tamara from interrupting. "Sachiko and the others, they're doing the right thing, you should be right there, if not tagging along, at the very least supporting them. Instead you'd rather berate them, insult them, their desire to do good, to help protect the less fortunate. We're supposed to be here to do good, all the time, not only when we feel like it!"

"We're to protect the world from mystical threats!" Tamara insisted.

"I think we will never be in agreement on this." Stephen shook his head. "My decision will stand. Both in this matter, and in future ones."

"If you insist." Tamara's spite was quite clear in her voice. "Then know that I hereby renounce Sachiko Nishimura as my apprentice. She's to be demoted, surrender all her privileges and will be going back to Kamar-Taj and to the other initiates as soon as she gets back."

Stephen almost let out a bark of laughter at that... almost.

"That will not be necessary Miss Walker." Stephen stated. "You are, of course, at liberty to give up on having Sachiko as your apprentice, but she will not be demoted, or sent back to Kamar-Taj. I'm taking her as my apprentice."

It was a sudden choice, made in a second, but even though he'd managed to shock himself with it, Stephen couldn't help but believe he was doing the right thing. Sachiko was a brave, bright young woman, she deserved the chance to reach her whole potential, she wouldn't do that as an initiate in Kamar-Taj (just like he probably wouldn't have gotten to where he was if it hadn't been for Mordo and the Ancient One). So, he was taking her on; perhaps one day she might even take his place (it was insane, making plans for his successor when he was still relatively young, and so new to the post, but still, he still saw it as the right choice).

**xXx**

Rose dropped by for a visit on Samhain, to wish Helena a happy birthday. No one had known that, except Stephen, the Sanctum went nuts. They all loved the goddess very much, and she them, to the point that she'd begun wearing something that was between her dresses and the Order's tunics, in a lighter shade of blue than Stephen, with golden accents and brown-leather boots. Her hip-length obsidian black hair usually in a loose braid.

Arrangements were made for a party in record time. Rose hadn't arrived alone, her adopted daughter Skye, Skye's boyfriend: Grant, as well as the Maximoff twins: Pietro and Wanda, were with her. Rose had taken particular pleasure in introducing Pietro as her match, and Helena could feel the peace and joy that filled her heart to bursting.

The party was great fun and, while not many realized it at the time, that was the start for the Order getting more involved with other gifted groups like the Sentinels, the Avengers, the Justice League, X-Men, etc...

Early the following morning preparations were made for the visitors to leave. The rest of the Sentinels were at the Warehouse, the New Avengers facility outside Manhattan, getting some training done (necessary when they had two new members: former SHIELD Agent Bobbi Morse, and her former-mercenary of an ex-husband: Lance Hunter). Plans had also been made for them to do some training sessions with the Sorcerers.

"Well, this was great." Rose announced. "Hope to see you again soon, sis."

The two embraced, and then something totally unexpected happened, as they were both pulled into one of Rose's vision. And it wasn't even just them, but all who'd been with them (Stephen, Sachiko, Pietro, Wanda, Skye and Grant).

_They were... somewhere, it looked like a garden, though one none any of them were particularly familiar with. There were trees, though mostly on what looked like the limits of the garden itself, and countless flowers of every possible kind and color decorating the ground. There was music all around, a mix of piano, violin, flute, perhaps a guitar as well? No specific words or song, but still, beautiful and very, very peaceful._

_Skye and Grant were the first to find themselves, they weren't in tactical clothes but casual attire instead: he jeans and a dark-blue henley with rolled up sleeves; she in sleeveless, pastel-colored, floral dress. He was crouched beside some flowers, while she was slightly crouched and moving slowly towards him, hands poised at the sides of the young infant girl clearly just learning to walk. The sight left them breathless for a moment, until it became clear the pretty child couldn't possibly be theirs, she was a strawberry blonde, steel-blue eyes with a hint of gold near the iris and she was wearing a little yellow dress and white shoes._

" _You're doing wonderful Anya." Skye said out-loud, sounding so very proud. "Look Mom! Look, we're learning to walk!"_

_Skye was delighted, and she couldn't help but look at the man a few feet from them, waiting to receive the toddling little girl, his eyes straying so often to Skye herself; and then the brunette woman's eyes went down, to the old-looking and gorgeous diamond ring gracing the third finger on her left hand... It was an heirloom, one that had once belonged to a gentle woman called Jennifer Wilson, Grant's Gramsy..._

_Several feet to the left of them (and quite close to the edge of the garden) was Rose, sitting on a swing, though not really moving, she was wearing a long, off-white dress and no shoes at all; Pietro was beside her in jeans, a gray shirt and his favorite sneakers. Both their eyes were riveted on the child, their little girl... their daughter: Anya Luna Hvedrungr-Maximoff._

_Very close to the tree from which the swing hung, stood Wanda, though in between her and the tree there stood another, looking tall and strong, though they couldn't see him too clearly, the shadows enveloping his form in just the right way to render him almost invisible to their eyes, they could see his arms though, wound around Wanda's waist, holding her own hands as they both cradled her swollen belly._

_Girlish giggles were heard from the other side of the garden and then there was Stephen, looking pretty much the same as ever, twirling around a laughing child, another girl: with brown hair so dark it was almost black, flying around with tiny braids adorning it and the most dazzling blue-green eyes any of them had ever seen, dressed in a miniature tanned-brown tunic and little boots. All a little sorceress..._

" _More Dada more!" The girl cried out in sheer delight._

_They all knew her name, without any need for it to be said out-loud: She was Donelle Lucia Hvedrungr-Strange... Nellie for short._

_There were more voices in the background, more people. Some even sounded like people at least some of them knew: Loki, Nightingale, Hakon, Victor, Logan, Marie, Charles, Erik, Raven, Irene, Nina, Phil, Darcy... and many, many more._

_They vaguely caught sight of Sachiko in the last moment, she seemed to be just arriving to their little gathering, wearing her maroon tunic and a forest-green wrap around her shoulders. She wasn't alone, there was someone with her, a big dark-skinned hand holding her petite one, but before anyone could make him out the vision broke off._

Sharp intakes of breath announced their return to reality. Sachiko slumped against a wall in an attempt to hold herself up, while Skye was nearly limp in Grant's arms, who only remained standing through sheer will (or stubbornness). The twins did not fall, though they did look a bit anxious after what they'd seen. Stephen was left blinking, his scientific mind left trying to wrap itself around the magical vision. The sisters were the only ones not feeling completely lost, yet they weren't any less affected by what they'd seen.

"What the hell was that?!" Grant finally asked, after what seemed like forever.

"The future..." Rose murmured half-absently.

"Hopefully." Helena couldn't but added.

Yes, hopefully. Other things were coming, of course, she could still remember the vision about the Infinity Stones and the Mad Titan (how could she ever forget?). They'd actually talked about that, about the Order's possible involvement in the potential war that was coming their way. But if everything went alright, if they managed to fight the Mad Titan and actually win... then one day they'd have it, all they'd just seen in that vision: the home, the family, the joy... One day life would be perfect.

**xXx**

Tamara Walker left NY, initially choosing to move to London, though she'd eventually part ways, when realizing that most of the Order had chosen to follow Stephen's initiative when it came to connecting with other groups and intervening in situations even when they were in no way magical. In London they'd even open communication channels with non-magical individuals who might prove helpful in the future, like the Holmes family.

The days kept passing, and ever so slowly people grew used to what seemed to be the 'new normal'. Everyone loved Helena, even if she wasn't a sorceress like them, she was strong, and she helped them, just like Dr. Strange did. As far as some were concerned it was like having two Masters instead of one. More people had even arrived to live in the Sanctum, after hearing comments of how good it was.

They at one point received a message from Johnathan. He was walking again, though still on some serious PT. Their son: Michael, had started school in Smallville and the couple were working on some of Veritas projects. They missed NY some, but life was good for them, they had no regrets about their choices. They were also very thankful to Christine, Stephen, Helena, Rose and everyone else who'd helped them get to that point.

Sachiko was officially recognized as Stephen's apprentice by the whole Order, something that delighted and terrified her in turns. She was also chosen by a relic (one that had once been in display in the London Sanctum in fact, until it kept flapping like crazy inside its case and the Master took the hint and sent it elsewhere so it could find its sorcerer): the Winged Sandals of Hermes, a fact she took great delight in. The relic wasn't sentient the way Levi was, though it did have the slightest amount of awareness, enough to sync with Sachiko, helping her react faster, make her moves smoother, and keep her balance easier (both on land and on air).

The young woman had also become the de-facto leader of the younger generation, those who were considered more than Initiates, but with still very little experience about the life the older sorcerers lead (the fighting, and the like). They all admired her, and not only for being Strange's apprentice and official second in command (Helena would always be his equal); it was well known that she'd been in Novi Grad, Sokovia when the city had been flying. She'd helped fight murderous robots and keep innocent civilians, and even other heroes, safe and alive. She'd actually been responsible for getting several stragglers out through a portal before the city was pretty much vaporized (to prevent the cataclysmic event that would have taken place, had it actually fallen back to Earth).

The day Sachiko approached Helena and asked quietly to have a private word with her, the princess knew it was important, also that whatever it was, it was making the young sorceress very anxious; still nothing could have prepared her for what came next:

"You've mentioned matches before." The girl started quietly. "Like yourself and Dr... Stephen." She'd been asked to call the man by his first-name and was still getting used to it. "Your sister and her mutant boyfriend... You said that matches, they're soulmates, they live and die together, yes?"

"Yes." Helena nodded serenely. "Life after life, until time ends or they choose eternal rest."

"Is it possible for one half of a match to die and the other to stay alive?" Sachiko finally asked, after what seemed like forever.

"I..." Helena swallowed, painful memories knotting her throat. "Yes, yes it is. It is said to be the worst kind of torture and... and I've seen it. Death is not the worst that can happen to a person, Sachiko, and for some... for some dying would have been kinder than what befell them upon the loss of their One True Love."

"And is it possible for that dead match to be reborn, without the other having to die first?" The young Japanese-American sorceress pushed on (though she looked apologetic at the pain she was causing Helena).

The Goddess of Grief and Hope was beginning to see where the line of questioning was heading, though that still did not explain why Sachiko was pursuing that topic. There was something going on... then again, something had been going on for a while.

"For the longest time, such a thing was believed to be impossible." Helena explained quietly. "It was said that, since the two souls were bound together, they needed to both be on the same side, both dead, in order to be reincarnated. Then again, most of those who are part of a match, tend not to live long once their other half has died. They only stay when they have a strong tether to life; like children, and watching over them, or a promise made to their loved one. Like the time Stephanos held onto life, after my death, long enough to find us a new world, one where we might have a chance at a new, peaceful life..."

"And did you?" Sachiko asked suddenly. "Did you get that chance?"

Helena nodded silently. It hadn't been that simple, of course not; but Sachiko wasn't a child, she understood what wasn't being said as much as what was.

"So it's not possible then?" Sachiko went back to the focus of the conversation. "For one half of a match to die and be reincarnated while the other half remains alive?"

"I said it was believed to be impossible." The goddess reminded her. "It's a belief that lasted for... stars know how long! It was proven false when Papa found Nana for the second time. I've told you before how she died, and how she came back, and they found each other again. She was reborn as a human, but eventually their bond strengthened enough that she gained some of his power, including his magic and his lifespan."

"Right... I'd forgotten about that." Sachiko admitted, almost sheepishly. "You said your dad went a little crazy for a while when she died. Does that happen to everyone?"

"A little crazy is putting it kindly." Helena admitted with a sigh. "He went insane, became very reckless, self-destructive. The simplest way to explain it was that he wanted to die, and he was instinctively looking for a way to do exactly that. Even if that meant pushing someone else until they killed him. All so he'd be able to join Nana among the dead. We didn't know back then that she could come back. He loved her so much... being without her was tearing him apart." She took a deep breath, forcing herself to pull away from the painful memory of that dark time. "As for if that's how everyone would react. I think it might be different with each match. There are those who simply let go of life the moment they lose their love, those that go suicidal... there was one lifetime where Stephanos went on a rampage after my death. Yet another life we spent surrounded by war and death. It was awful." She shook her head. "It's harder when it comes to incomplete bonds, those that were never consummated. Because, depending on the strength and time of the original bond, those involved might not be too affected, not in any way that influences their every-day lives at least; or they might end up feeling a black hole at the core of their heart and soul, without ever knowing the reason for it. And even if they do know the reason, somehow, the emptiness is still there. Rose was one such case."

"Rose...?" Sachiko obviously wasn't expecting that. "Your sister Rose?! But... but she... her match! She came here with her match, the speedster. And she said they'd just met back in August, in Sokovia of all places!"

"That is correct. But that was actually the second time they found each other. Rose met and fell in love with Pietro's previous incarnation, back in the 70s. From what I know, nothing ever came of it, I've never asked why. He died in 92, in an explosion in Los Andes, while working on freeing a group of young mutants who'd been sold into slavery. Rose saw it happen, but not in time to do anything about it. Unlike Papa she did not go insane, though I believe she was depressed or suicidal, just in a different way. She cut herself off from the world for five years."

"Five years!"

"Yes, she finally resurfaced in 1997. On the very same day when Pietro Maximoff was born..."

"The same..." Sachiko was in awe. "Does she know that?"

"I don't know, though she probably does. It was no coincidence. While her match remained among the dead her soul was incomplete, and the moment he came back... he made her whole again, and that in turn pushed her into living once more. Even if she didn't consciously know he was back until this Summer, a part of her stopped truly missing him 20 years ago."

For a while, not a word was said. Helena suspected Sachiko was trying (very hard) to process everything she'd just learned, the goddess gave her the time and silence needed for her to do so. Meanwhile distracting herself by polishing her violin. She'd recently retrieved it, had even played for Stephen the night before. It was her favorite instrument, and also a gift from her Nana.

"I think..." Sachiko seemed to hesitate for a moment before adding, more strongly. "I think ro... Ma... Mr. Mordo lost his match."

Helena blinked, not quite understanding how Sachiko had reached that conclusion, exactly.

"When I saw him in the Mirror Dimension there was something in his eyes... like a shadow, or a void, like there's something missing there, in him." Sachiko was almost babbling as she tried to explain. "I think he lost his match and he resents that loss."

"That's still no excuse for what he's done, you know that right?" Helena asked, very seriously. "What he did to Johnathan, and to Stephen, what he tried to do to you."

"But that's just it!" Sachiko insisted, vehemently. "He didn't hurt me, he didn't even touch me. He just... just looked at me. It was when I first noticed something was wrong with him..."

"The first time...?" The goddess just couldn't miss that detail. "Sachiko, how many times have you seen Mordo since he went rogue?"

"I saw him that day in the Mirror Dimension... and again in Sokovia." Sachiko admitted very softly. "I... I think he saved my life that day."

Helena honestly didn't know what to say to that. She wanted to believe what she'd just said to the young woman, about the loss of a match not justifying anything... but hadn't she justified all the craziness, the insanity committed by her Ada, telling herself (and everyone who would listen) that it wasn't his fault, it was the grief, the loss, making him do it all? Helena really hated it when her own words came back to bite her, directly or indirectly.

Regardless, Sachiko's belief did not change much. Karl Mordo was still a rogue, he was still bent on stripping all sorcerers from their magic, and her love was quite probably at the top of his list. Yes, those things did not change, she honestly couldn't think of how they ever could...

**xXx**

Karl Mordo was sitting in what, for most people, would be the end of nowhere. For him it was the edge of the Arges river, a few minutes away the town of Teghes, in Ilfov County, Romania. He'd once lived in that little town, in what had once, many, many years prior, been Transylvania. He could still remember the stories his mother used to tell, about how her ancestors had once been royalty there, how her own father had been a Baron once... that had been before Karl was born, before Transylvania became little more than a name in a legend, if it was even true at all. It was still a nice story, though.

The rogue sorcerer sensed, quite clearly, the moment he was no longer alone. He turned just enough to see a young looking girl in a long, asymmetric burnt-red wrap dress with a print of big off-white roses; her hair was long, somewhere between brown and red, to the middle of her back and looking a bit wind-swept, and there were red-leather boots on her feet.

"Hello, Master Mordo." She greeted him respectfully, in perfect Romani.

Karl was actually surprised by that, enough that he didn't think to attack her as she went to sit less than three feet from him, legs curled up beneath her.

"Who are you?" He finally began asking questions, not fully noticing when he spoke in the same language. "How did you find me? And how do you even know my name?!"

"I am Rose Alfdis." She answered simply. "I am the one some call the Rose of Chaos..."

Karl froze. He'd heard about the Rose of Chaos. He even remembered a time when he'd wished and prayed that she'd appear, that she'd save him and Chara... but of course she'd never come, because she wasn't real.

"I am very, very sorry, that I couldn't be the kind of hero you needed me to be." She told him, and she sounded honestly regretful.

Karl didn't understand what was going on.

"Why are you here?" He demanded. "Why now? After all this time..."

Why when he had no need of her...?

He'd never know that at the time he'd needed her the most she'd been lost in her grief, locked away in a ranch in the middle of the desert.

"I am here because you're now standing at a crossroad." She told him softly. "Two paths lay before you, one will lead you to redemption, to happiness... the other will lead you to destruction, your own and that of countless others."

"Really?" He drawled, obviously not believing her. "And let me see, you're here to make sure I make the 'right' choice!"

"Not at all." She shook her head calmly, not at all affected by his tone or attitude. "The choice is your own, it always has been. I'm just here to point out a few things you might not be aware of, or might be choosing to ignore."

"Really?" He arched a brow. "And what points are those, exactly?" He made a pause, suddenly thinking of something. "Did Strange send you?!"

"No, Stephen Strange did not send me, he doesn't know I'm here either." She assured him calmly. "I made this decision somewhat... impulsively, shall we say?"

"But why? Why come here? Why tell me anything?"

"Because everyone deserves a second chance Karl Mordo, and that certainly includes you. You've lost a lot, I need not be a Seer to know that, it's written on every scar on your body, every line on your face... but now you have a chance, a chance to take some of what you've lost, back. You need only take the opportunity that lays before you."

"No lady, you're wrong, I lost all my chances a long time ago, twenty-four years ago, to be precise. Those chances will never come back!"

Rose looked at him, a look that held a thousand secrets, and Karl had to force himself not to ask about any of them, to hold onto his convictions, his beliefs, they were all he'd left.

"I have a mission, and I must fulfill it." He stated evenly.

"And what mission is that? To rid this world of sorcerers? Well, your kind of sorcerer. By the way, that trick won't work on me, just thought I should mention that. My power is nothing like yours, and I'm not really a sorceress, so..." Rose shrugged somewhat carelessly. "As I was saying. You will rid the world of one kind of sorcerer, and then what? What do you think that will achieve, aside from skewing the balance? And that's even assuming you manage to someday complete that task." She let out a breath. "Truth is, it will do nothing at all. You will have wasted your life with a pointless endeavor. Do you think that's what Chara would want..."

"Do not dare say her name!" Karl practically roared abruptly. "What do you know about her? What do you know about me?! Nothing at all!"

"We know what it feels like, to lose one's match." It wasn't a question. "The grief, the emptiness, the fury... at the world, time, life, even yourself... We both have felt it all, but you've let it consume you."

"It doesn't consume me."

"Not anymore, no. You managed to find a purpose, something to sustain you. The Order, the Ancient One; you made them, made her into your anchor. It was good for a while, but that also means that when she failed you, failed to fulfill your expectations, you were left bereft."

"She was a traitor. A traitor to her own teachings!"

"Was she?"

"Are you going to try and feed me the same fallacy Strange used? That she was 'complicated'?!"

"Well, she certainly was that, but it goes beyond being complicated. Tell me Mordo, you're always going on about the price behind the magic, do you really think she could have done what she did and not pay a price during all these years?"

"Kaecilius was the price!"

"No, he wasn't. Kaecilius was his own person. He made his choices. Regardless of what the Ancient One had or hadn't done, he would have still found the Book of Cagliostro, the Forbidden Rituals, the choice was always his to make. Just like you have yours. And this I know for fact. I met with the Ancient One some time before her death, less than a year after Kaecilius's original departure, she asked me to look into it, worried that she could have done something to stop him from leaving. There's nothing she or anyone else could have done. And you do her, and yourself a disservice believing otherwise." She shook her head. "Now for the price, tell me Mordo, you've felt what it's like to be without your match. Can you imagine existing in that state for hundreds of years? Alone, feeling that neverending grief, loneliness, pain, the void..."

"It was her choice!"

"Yes it was. A choice made out of love. Love of a memory, the memory of her match, who gave everything he had, everything he was, to keep his country safe. She tried her best to make him proud in the only way she knew how. She served, as an acolyte, as a sorceress, a protector, and was eventually chosen to be the Sorceress Supreme. She defeated a great evil, one that nearly destroyed our world... and then, when she would have wanted to rest, to follow her match into the next life... she instead learnt of another great evil that threatened our world. One the Order wasn't ready for. And so she stayed..."

And so she'd stayed, for nearly fifteen hundred years...

"Tell me Karl Mordo, what would you do for your match? For her love? To honor her memory? Those were the questions the Ancient One once faced, she made her choices and they had consequences; so will yours. And no, I will not make them for you, it's not my place. I am only here to make sure you do not throw your life away because you were missing information."

"What about Strange? He broke the laws of nature too!"

"He did, and if you honestly believe he didn't pay the price then you know not what you speak of. I will not tell you what it was, it's not my place, just know he did, and it was a steep one."

"Why didn't he tell me?"

"Because he knew that in that moment you needed to leave, needed time for yourself, more than you needed a reason to stay. Do not confuse my words, Stephen wanted you to stay, that has never changed, he wanted your help, your support... but he knew that you needed time to come to terms with what had happened, the fact that the Ancient One wasn't as perfect as you made her out to be, and that the world is far more complex than you convinced yourself it was." Rose shook her head. "Haven't you wondered why you're even here still? Free? Unconcerned? Why you're not being hunted down by the Order? You've been officially named a Rogue, and everyone knows you tried to trap Stephen in the Mirror Dimension, and then did the same with Helena and the three young sorcerers... one who is actually Stephen's own apprentice."

Rose didn't miss the way Karl's eyes flashed briefly at the mention of one of those people, but she didn't call attention to it either.

"Several members of the Order have wanted you to be considered officially a criminal, a traitor to the Order, they wanted you to be hunted down..." Rose pointed out calmly.

"And why haven't they?!" Karl challenged, a battle of emotion in his voice.

"Because Stephen refused to allow it." Rose said simply. "And after what happened in Hong Kong... he has just enough respect from the other masters. They listen to him. If he says there's still a chance you could go back, that you could serve the Order again, they believe him. As long as he believes in you, no one will dare hunt you down. And Stephen will never stop believing in you, Karl... never. It's just not in him, to give up."

"But... why?!" There was a terrible sense of agony in him, a failure to understand why. "Why would he believe in me? Why, after everything I've done!"

"Because the things you've done haven't been irredeemable, not yet and... and because you believed in him first. Have you thought about that? When even the Ancient One threw him out, refused to give him a chance... even though she probably knew that he'd get it, sooner or later. You did. You believed in him, gave him the opportunity, gave him the support he needed. You were there for Stephen when he needed help the most, when even his match couldn't be there for him... you were the brother he never had... I think, at least in his head, you still are."

Nothing was said, Rose suspected Mordo simply had no words to say. She didn't push. She'd done what she was there to do, the rest was up to him.

"In the end, the choice is yours to make." She reminded him simply, before standing up again.

She waved a hand in the air and waited, her match would be picking her up in seconds, literally.

"You said... you said we know what it feels like, to lose one's match." He called in the last moment. "Does that mean...?"

"Hope never dies." Rose whispered softly, looking at Karl over her shoulder. "Neither does love."

And then she was gone, barely giving Karl a moment to see a young man in shades of blue with white accents and blonde hair so light it was almost white... or silver. He stopped beside the redhead for a moment, scooping her up in his arms, to her delighted giggles, before dashing off (speed was evidently his gift). Karl didn't need to ask, it was obvious he was her match. Her match which she'd once lost... she'd gotten him back.

Karl looked down half-absently, at the white bow in his hand, one that had once adorned the dark-hair of the most important person in his life, his pretty little gypsy... his happiness, his Chara. Was it possible? Could he get her back someday? A memory of dark-eyes pulled at his memory, eyes he'd seen recently. He didn't focus on that, pushed aside the past (at least for the time being) he needed his mind on the present. Karl Mordo had a choice to make.

**xXx**

And elsewhere... elsewhere a young woman, with dark hair and eyes, all of twenty-three years old, danced to a melody that seemed to exist only in her head, as her mind conjured up a tall, imposing young man with dark skin, who placed a white bow on the side of her head and called her 'little gypsy'...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, did you enjoy this? I hope you did. The vision of the future wasn't planned but I just couldn't help myself, and I liked it, something hopeful to dream about, rather than just the monster they all know is coming... 
> 
> So, in a month we'll have the first in the next batch of AUs, it'll go into Dr. Strange again (I cannot help myself!). And I have other ideas, some you can see in my profile, some are only occurring to me now so... yeah. 
> 
> Regarding the fourth and final phase of the main timeline. Tentatively it will consist of two stories: "Infinite Starlight" which will be the actual Infinity War... I hope to give you something completely different from the comics, and from what the MCU will be eventually giving us (not hard to do, considering that my Thanos is completely different from canon one, and it all just goes from there...). The second story is an epilogue that I'm tentatively calling "A Thousand Years" right now, the title might yet change. 
> 
> I really hope you've enjoyed all I've written up until now, and will enjoy as well what's yet to come. I'd love it if you were so kind to leave comments. See you around my wonderful readers!

**Author's Note:**

> This fic consists of three parts, it's the fourth and last part of this third phase (there will be a fourth) in the Nightingale series. Updates will be coming weekly and after it's done (and a little break, three or four weeks) we shall be diving into a new round of AUs (four or six this time). Just so you all know what you can expect. 
> 
> Full-size cover and set of wallpapers can, as always, be found in my deviantArt page, I go by Princess-Lalaith.


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